


Lead Wings

by adelineTM



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blood, College, Dirty Talk, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Health problems, Injury, Just Sex, Karasuno, Minor Original Character(s), Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oral Sex, POV Second Person, Pining Ushijima Wakatoshi, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rating May Change, Reader is a volleyball player, Slow Burn, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Ushijima Wakatoshi, Volleyball, abusive ex-boyfriend, mentioned bokuaka, mentions of domestic violence, pining reader too, reader gets drunk at one point, tags are a MESS i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:02:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 43,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24217105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelineTM/pseuds/adelineTM
Summary: Ukai (Name), one of Japan's top three aces, as well as the ace of a powerhouse college, decides to end her starting career as a volleyball player after collapsing at the end of a match. Meeting Shiratorizawa's former captain, Ushijima Wakatoshi, turns out to be what helps her spread her heavy wings again.Chapters 18, 19 and 20 are NSFW.
Relationships: Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader
Comments: 34
Kudos: 186





	1. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖓𝖊

You are here, in Tokyo. Around you are people of different ages and heights, coming from all over Japan to win. The boys look huge, some of them might even be 2 meters tall. You are not that short either, but compared to them, you seem like a first year. Whatever, they are _boys_ , of course they'd be giants. As you look around to spot some of the female players, it feels like your knees are about to give up at the realization you have when you see a girl talking with a boy, both the same height: **_they are huge too!_** Before you can deepen too much in your depressive state, a hand is placed on your shoulder, bringing you back.

"Are you okay?" The vice-captain of your team asks you with a worried look on her face as she noticed how you were eyeing around.

"Y-Yeah...!" You say after inhaling and exhaling. "Just a bit nervous. They are _super_ tall," she giggles and pats you gently on your back.

"Don't laugh at me! Our high-school hasn't been to the nationals in forever! It's normal to be scared!"

"And thanks to whom are here today, _captain_?" Another girl says in a teasing tone, behind her being the rest of your team. "You are our captain, our ace! You have us and we have you so we'll win to matter what!" Seeing the large smile on her everyone's faces, you feel the weight on your shoulders lifting up. She's right, as long as you have their support, nothing can bring you down. If you don't win today, this will be your last official game as this team, as a third year and you cannot let that happen.

You've come this far to win. Nothing is going to stop you. This team has everything that it needs to win. You trust their abilities and their teamwork. With some you've played since the beginning of your days at the club and others joined just a few months ago. But the time you've spend together doesn't matter because you all wish for the same thing: to make the name of your high-school be known in all Japan as you win the nationals.

After all the teams get in the big court, the matches start officially. As you are warming up, you look around at the other teams and the uneasiness is back in your stomach, making you feel like you are about to throw up. You quickly slap yourself across the face with both palms, turning to your team that looks at you mortified.

"That was a bit... _extreme_..." You smile at her, but her worries don't go away. Everyone can tell that you are more nervous than usual, but something feels off about you too. Your coach calls you for one last talk before the match begins, giving you words of encouragement, but also instructions and advice.

"The floor is harder than the ones we usually play on. You'll hurt yourselves if you play like you usually do, so be careful" He looks at you while saying that, but you roll your eyes.

Walking to the court to face your opponents, you are glad that the color of their uniforms isn't the same as yours. You love the black of yours, fitting the name of your school, so changing it would have made you a little sad. You played in these clothes for 3 years.

As your setter goes in the back to serve, you get in position. Closing your eyes for a second and taking a big breath, you yell:

"Hit them with a killer serve!" She throws the ball in the air and jumps to hit it; the tournament **_finally_** begins.

The first set goes to your team; score was 25-17. After their teasing and badmouthing, the other girls still couldn't win, no matter how hard they tried to intimidate you. You won't fall, you won't submit to them. This is your game to win. In the break, the coach talks again about strategy and what to do in order to win again.

"You need to calm down!" He tells you. "You are all tense and violent. You'll end up hurting yourself or the others if you keep playing like that!"

"Yes, sir," you mumble, but you know very well that nothing is going to change. You collided a few times with your teammates, but no serious injuries were caused. _Tomorrow_ you'll take it easier, now you just have to show everyone how good you are so they won't look down on you anymore.

As the ball is coming in your direction, you jump high enough to hit it. Even though your position is a bit off, the ball still goes over the net and is seems that nobody is there to catch it. Paying so little attention to your surroundings, you don't realize how your foot is going to touch the floor and so you slip on the side of your shoe. You don't have time to react or to move your hand to stop your fall.

The pain you shortly feel in your ankle is nothing compared to how hard the right side of your head hits the cold floor. You lose you consciousness immediately; the last thing that comes to your mind are your coach's words as you hear a first year that was close calling your name:

"Ukai-san!" 


	2. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖔

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't play volley so some things won't make sense, sorry.

_**I don't play volley so some things won't make sense, sorry.** _

You open the door to the gym and all eyes turn to look at you. Mostly because you are wearing a (color) sweater with its hood over your head and a mask that's covering half of your face, letting only your (color) orbs to be visible. To them, you look like you are about to kill them. There are so many boys and a few girls so you assume that those are the managers of the teams. You turn around to search for the one that asked you to come here: Keishin Ukai. He gulps as your scary gaze meets his and stutters as he starts speaking.

"Hinata, can you let them serve this time?" He says, pointing to you. The ginger looks at you from head to toe and his whole-body shivers at how intense you are watching him. But he nods and runs off the court, handing you the ball. He's a bit shorter than you so he must a first year. He still has time to grow, but you appreciate that he has the 'balls' to play a game where height is your best ally. You take the object from his hands and place down your bag. You give the blonde man another glare, this way telling him that you are still mad at him.

You bounce the ball in your hands a few times on the floor and then jump, ready to serve. You look at the boys on the other side of the net: they are wearing black T-shirts, having over them blue vests and red shorts. As they are able to receive the ball, the game keeps going, with you running around to help them. The captain of the rival team watches you with cat-shaped eyes, like he is trying to read each and every one of your moves. The setter with big blue eyes from Karasuno throws the ball in your direction and you delay your jumping to match with the spin of the ball, their blockers already up to stop you. You hit the ball with force, scoring a point as it lands on the floor and makes a loud sound.

Surprisingly, the hood from your head wasn't blown away as you ran, so your identity is still hidden. They don't need to know who you are, for now. The coach from the other team doesn't seem to mind your intervention in the game, as probably Ukai already told him that you would join.

"I'm so sorry! The timing was a bit off!" The black-haired boy says to you. You shake your head for a 'no' and return to the back of the court to serve again. Looking at the score, you see that Karasuno is far behind from winning this set. When he said that his team needs help, Ukai should've said instead that they need a miracle from God. It's not that they are bad, but they are not the best either. He gave you a few details about them and told you about the setter progeny they have on the team. Now that you witness his tosses, you can clearly say that he is indeed one.

As you are about to set again, the phone from your bag starts ringing loudly. You drop the ball on the floor and run to pick it up, no longer caring about the game. You find it and press the button to answer immediately, without checking who was calling you as you already knew. You bring the phone to your ear, but before you can say something, the person on the other line starts screaming, forcing you to yank the device away from your ear so you won't go deaf.

"Where are you?! We just started playing and you disappeared! We have an official match in two weeks and you are skipping practice?!" The deep and angry voice of your coach makes your body shiver. _Crap_ , you are in big trouble. I mean, you already knew that he would be mad, but _holy shit_ , you've never heard him being this loud. You pull down the mask covering your mouth, as well as your hood, and you bow from the middle, like your coach was in front of you.

"I deeply apologize for my lack of discipline! My brother came to the city asking me to help him with his team and I couldn't refuse him! I promise that I'll be there tomorrow for practice. I accept every type of punishment you find to be fit for my behavior!" You say in one breath, since you already had the words prepared. If he asks you to come back, you'll make a big fool of yourself in front of your juniors.

"We'll talk tomorrow," he says and ends the call. You exhale loudly, relieved that he let you off the hook this time. It's not the first time you skipped practice and used a lame excuse to get away with it, but your coach knows you well. You will never bring up your brother out of the blue if it wasn't actually true. Your big brother that looks at you with wide eyes as you lift yourself.

"You skipped practice to come here?! Are you out of your mind?!" At this point, all of the matches stopped. Either because someone won, or because they were curious about what was going on.

"Hah?!" You snap and turn to him. "You haven't spoken to me in months and suddenly you call me and tell me that you need my help! Unlike you, I'm always there for you!" He opens his mouth to say something else, but immediately closes it shut, probably because he realized that you were right. "You still look at me like I'm a child that you need to protect. It was one injury, get over it already!"

"It wasn't just an injury—" "(Name)-san?" You hear someone calling you from behind, and you turn on your heels, finding the source of the voice looking at you with big brown eyes behind his grey bangs. You completely forgot that everyone was watching you, especially the now third years boys.

"Hi," you say in a shy voice, waving at them, completely embarrassed by the situation you are in. Before you can apologize, you feel how he wraps his arms around you, followed by the other two.

"We were so worried about you!" Daichi is the first one to speak, still holding you in his arms.

"We heard from Michimiya-san what happened during the match," Asahi continues, sounding like he is about to start crying.

"And then you stopped coming to school until the year finished. She told us that you received a scholarship here in Tokyo, but—"

"Okay, enough already!" You push them away as their big bodies were starting to crush you. "I fell and hit my head, stop making such a big deal out of it!" You tell them, at the same looking back at your brother. "You promised me that you'll go to the nationals, why are you here, looking like the world ended for you?"

As you lecture them, Hinata gets closer to Tanaka.

"Who is she?"

"Ah," he scratches the back of his head, "she was the captain of the girls' volleyball team of our school. I remember her saying that she was a wing spiker"

"She's one of the top 3 aces in Japan for the college category," Bokuto says coming from behind them, placing one arm on Hinata's shoulder and the other on Tanaka's, " **Ukai** **(Name),** " his bright yellow eyes watch the movement of your body as you keep scolding Asahi for his lack of roughness as an ace. Kageyama, Kuroo, Kenma, and many more hear this statement. The way you hit the ball earlier was enough to prove that his words were true.

"Wait, did she say that Ukai-san was her brother?" Hinata asks, after putting two and two together. He looks at Tanaka and Tanaka looks at him, then they look around at their teammates. It seems that the ginger wasn't the only one that had just understood what her words from earlier meant.

"Eh?! Coach's sister?!" 


	3. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊

_Oh, shit._ They were watching you. All of them: your brother, his team, the coaches, the managers and the other teams. Everyone's eyes were on you. _Crap_. You laugh awkwardly, rubbing the back of your head to lose some of the embarrassment.

"Guess I'll have to introduce myself now. My name is Ukai (Name). I'm a college student here in Tokyo and I was the captain of the girls' team last year. It's a pleasure to meet you!" You say, bowing in front of them. "Also, yes, I'm your coach's younger sister. I know some of your second and third years since my grandfather took me to assist their practice from time to time"

"I'm happy to see that injury didn't stop your enthusiasm for the sport," Kiyoko joins the discussion, bringing Yachi with her. You smile at her.

"Injury?" The blond girl next to her asks, as she notices there are no visible scars on your body. Besides the hoodie, you are wearing (color) shorts, knee pads and volleyball shoes.

"Ah, I slipped and hit my head at the nationals last year. It wasn't anything severe, but I was out for an hour or so"

They look at you with pity in their eyes. And you hate that. This was the reason you and Ukai stopped talking until now. He blamed you for your reckless style of playing and said that you don't deserve the sports scholarship you obtained for your current college. For you, it sounded like all of your efforts to get your team to the nationals were meaningless. Sure, you did some rash things as bumping into other players, but you were the ace and the captain. You had to do everything on your own. Carry the team on your shoulders to assure the victory.

"Enough about me. Initially, I wanted to play more with you so I can see how you act as a team. But I can't do that now since most of you will hold back. I can't really observe you by sitting aside, but I'll do my best," Ukai told you about the 'freak-duo' so you assume that the other half must be the ginger you replaced. To be honest, you are dying to see them in action.

"But you did hold back against us, _ace,_ " someone from the Nekoma team says and as you turn around to find him, you meet the large grin of the captain. "Are you scared that some high-schoolers will be able to stop your serve?" You click your tongue at his words, frowning.

"Oh, it's on!" You say, lifting the ball you dropped a few moments ago and going back to the end of the court.

"Oi, you two stop that!" Ukai yells at you, but you just glare at him. If he thinks that you'd let this rooster head degrade you like that, he's wrong. Your pride as a future pro-player won't be trashed like that.

"It's okay, let them have some fun. Plus, it's been a while since I've seen Ikkei's granddaughter play. He was really proud of her," Nekomata tells him, calming down the young coach. Ukai mumbles under his breath, something along the lines of _'I wonder who was the favorite grandchild'_ ,and the old man laughs. When Ukai quit playing volleyball and started working for your mother's store, you became the main focus of your grandfather. His passion for the sport was passed down to both you and your brother, but you were the only one that dedicated yourself to such extend.

If the black-haired boy wanted a powerful jump serve, who were you to refuse such request? So, you throw the ball in the air, following it with your eyes and steps. You jump as high as your legs can take you, hitting it with your right hand at full force. The ball hits the ground hard and loud, flying up in the air from the impact with the hardwood floor. Kuroo looks back at you as the ball falls behind him, giving you a toothy grin. _'This bastard'_

"That was amazing!" Hinata is the first one to speak; his eyes are sparkling with admiration towards you. You blush slightly and leave the court to let your juniors continue their match. You crouch down next to your brother, back pressed against the wall, holding your knees to your chest. The whistle is heard and the game resumes. Your eyes scan fast their positions, the way their body moves and reacts to the ball. You're so deep in your thoughts that you don't hear the discussion next to you.

"Is she okay?" Takeda asks Ukai.

"She's thinking. Analyzing them so she can see what's missing. A freak, as some call her. She took our loss as a hit to her pride too, that's why she's so invested in it"

If you weren't paying attention, you would have missed: the fast duo-attack. The ball was sent in the perfect spot so the ginger could hit it. But what astonished you was the fact that his eyes were closed. He didn't look at the ball, just jumped and hit it on impulse. As impressive as it was, that attack has a **_huge flaw_**. They lose the set and are forced to do the diving around the court. After a few more sets, the day ends and Karasuno has to return back to Miyagi.

As they gather around, you get up and walk towards them, ready to give them your report. You would have probably seen it better if you were at the back, but it doesn't matter now.

"Your defense is strong because you have Daichi and Yu. Your ace isn't that bad, but I'm sure that he can get more aggressive," Asahi whines at your words. "The tall middle blocker you have needs to put more heart into the game. Do you hear me, four eyes?" Tsukishima glares at you, but nods and says a 'yes' dryly. "The only thing you need to improve is your quick attack"

"Improve it?" They say, looking at each other, clearly not understanding what you mean.

"For how long do you think you'll be able to use this weapon of yours? It's true that it's an effective attack and throws off your opponents, but the fact that you cannot see where you spike the ball is a problem. So, you'll have to open your eyes when Kageyama tosses to you," the way they look at you makes you understand that it's the first time they've thought about it.

"B-But I can't hit it properly when my eyes are open. I get scared and—"

"Kageyama won't be your setter forever. Your dynamic as a duo is good, but you need to improve more if you want to go to the nationals. If Seijoh was able to block your attack, Shiratorizawa won't have a problem with it. As long as you keep your eyes closed, you won't be able to come here, to Tokyo"

"Oi, oi, oi! That's a bit harsh, you know?" Your brother comes from behind you. He sees how frustrated Hinata is suddenly and understands that your words reached their target. _Like grandfather like granddaughter, huh._

"Sugarcoating my words won't help them. But I do have faith in you, Karasuno boys. I know that you can do it"

"Thank you so much!" They bow in front of you, then scatter around to clean the gym and gather their stuff.

The team is now in front of the cars, ready to depart. You have one last conversation with your brother, away from the ears of his students. A sort of heart to heart discussion.

"You are coming back in two weeks, right?" He nods. "I don't think I'll be able to come and supervise their practice then since I have a match soon. Today it was the fifth time I skipped practice consecutively and my coach will surely kill me if I do it one more time"

"I'm sorry for not telling you beforehand. And why are you skipping practice so much?! You are the ace, but you still need it!"

"I know, I know. I'll go tomorrow, I promise. Also, stop apologizing. Mom is not around"

"I'm apologizing because I feel bad, you bastard!" You stay quiet for a few seconds, but Ukai starts speaking again. "I'm sorry for what I said back then. I was just worried about you hurting yourself more and—"

"It's okay," you interrupt him. "I've forgiven you a long time ago. Even though you are annoying, you are still my brother, my number one supporter. But you own me ice-cream when I return to Miyagi!" He wants to argue more with you, but they have to leave soon so he lets it slide, just this time.

"Fine," you wrap your arms around his shoulders, closing your eyes. He returns your hug and you stay like that for a few seconds before you pull away.

"I'll text you the time and date of the match so you can watch it on TV. Be sure to cheer on for me, otherwise I'll beat the shit out of you!" He laughs at you and you make your way together to the rest. You wave at them, as they leave the school grounds. You feel tears forming into your eyes, but don't allow yourself to cry in front of them.

It feels like a part of you leaves with them too. Your past at your school, your past with your brother. God, when did you turn nineteen? Where are the good old days when your grandfather was coaching the team? Seeing your brother replacing him makes you happy. It almost feels like his legacy in this world is protected by the two of you.

As you turn on your heels to leave too, the black-haired guy from earlier calls you by your first name.

"Let's exchange numbers," he says.

"I'm not interested in dating high-schoolers," you give him a flat look.

"I don't want to date you! You can come and play with us from time to time. You are a strong player and I really want to block your jump serve," you smirk back at him and decide to give him your number. Hopefully, you won't regret it.

"Me too! I want to take you down and show you what a true ace can do!" A silver-haired boy yells from behind him, startling both of you.

"Can you stop being so fucking loud, you stupid owl?" You laugh at the exchange of their words, since they continue to insult each other. At the end of the day, you have their numbers, and they have yours. They actually decided to take you back to your apartment and your stomach hurt from how much you laughed on your way.

It was probably the first time in a while since you were that happy. You didn't feel the familiar weight on your shoulders, dragging you down and stressing you out. You were at ease, the meeting with your juniors, your brother and the two idiots that walked you home taking your mind off things.

But there is a whole in you, begging to be filled. You keep ignoring the pain coming from it, that is soon spreading through your body. You hope that the painkillers do their job so you can go on with your 'normal' life. But the moment your body gives up on you, having enough of the poor way you treat it, you know that you've fucked up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what's with me updating this story so much, I just have so many ideas for it and I wanna keep writing. My wrist hurt really bad yesterday so I couldn't do anything the whole day. Even texting on my phone was a painful. Also, first a/n, hi!
> 
> Two more chapters until the Reader meets the love of her life. From there, this story will be a total crack fic so prepare for stupid jokes and stupid lines.
> 
> I'm planning on writing smut for this story too, don't worry. I don't wanna end it with 'and they got together. THE END" . Oh no, honey, you'll get all that established-relationship life with this man since he is perfect and deserve more love and appreciation. Okay, time to stop rambling. See you soon!


	4. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we start: There is a nasty scene at the end involving blood, please skip it if you are uncomfortable. Also, this chapter is a long af since it's important.

While your other teammates are looking rough—someone actually threw up a few moments ago—you are calm. It is an important match, _sure_ , but you have nothing to worry about. You know yourself, in and out; there is no way you'll lose against a college that's not even in the top five.

"You good?" your captain asks you. You move your eyes from the spot you've been looking at all this time while deep in your thoughts. She doesn't seem scared either, judging from the frown on her face. She is the tallest from your team, almost reaching 190 cm, having a fit body. Besides that, there is nothing else out of the ordinary about her: short black hair and black eyes. "You look like the world ended. Love problems again?"

You roll your eyes at her. "Don't be ridiculous, Daitan. Like I'll let something like that get to me. He was okay, but not really my type. We just hooked up, that's it. Plus, I'm not really looking for a relationship at the moment"

"Oh? But the poor guy was hoping to actually start dating you! Is that it, you feel bad for rejecting him?" You turn around to glare at her.

"I told you, it's not about him! I'm just angry that I'm stuck here, playing against a weak team while my brother and his boys are in the city"

"Your juniors from Karasuno? The ones you left us for two weeks ago?"

"Yeah," you get up, standing next to her while you look at the teams around you. "They have a genius as a setter and a kid that can jump really high. I had a fun time watching them play. And Keishin is coaching them, can you believe that?" You start laughing, but Daitan just smiles at your remark.

"I'm glad that you two made up, but that still doesn't justify you skipping practice." She says the second half in a deep and low voice. _'Ah, there it is. Her true side. The demon captain'._

"I'm already good enough, I don't need practice," you answer, walking away from her.

"Volleyball is a team sport, you know that?!" She yells after you, but you don't respond. Yeah, the team has to do their best to block the balls and to open a way for the ace to score points. The familiar pain in your stomach is back, but you choose to ignore it... _**again**_...

After the classical handshake between teams, the referee blows the whistle and the match starts. Besides the people that are in the gymnasium, there are others watching the match: the boys from the Training camp, together with the coaches. Karasuno arrived just in time at the Nekoma High-school so they all gathered around a TV and were relieved when they didn't miss anything.

The first set goes to your team. You don't do much during it since you're not in the right mood to play. There are days when you feel like this during practice, like you want to get home as soon as possible to sleep and never wake up. But feeling like this during an important match is the worst. Especially when both teams notice it.

"Stop fooling around and start playing seriously. I know that you don't consider them as threats, but it's still a game. Put your heart into it!" Your captain scolds you again. She is usually the one that motivates your teammates while also scaring the shit out of them, especially out of the first years. The coach just intervenes when he feels that she's being too rough. And it usually happens when you and Daitan start fighting.

You don't say anything back to her, just drink from your water bottle in silence _. 'Such a pain in the ass; there's no way they'll win the second set so why bother so much?'_ You think to yourself as the second set is about to start. It's not unexpected that when your team takes the lead, they ask for a time out.

"If you still refuse to play at full force, we'll stop sending balls your way for the rest of the year"

"Huh?!" You snap back at her, removing the towel from your face. You get up, ready to punch her, but a teammate holds you back. Not only is this match live, but fights between players are usually not well viewed by the media. "I'm the **ace**. You'll lose every match like that!"

"Then start playing like you mean it, (Name). We need our ace to do her goddamn job," she knows that she'll regret asking you that, knows that you're not feeling well today and she's basically forcing you to do more than you can take. But it's your fault for skipping practice that much, otherwise you wouldn't have been that tired. Or at least, that's what she _thinks_ is wrong with you.

And so you do. You play as you always do: bumping into players when blocking, stealing the ball and hitting it yourself even though the toss was not for you, falling a few times while trying to receive the ball. You'll have so many bruises on your body tomorrow, _dammit_. But despite your efforts, the score is 20-20 when you're about to serve. Daitan gives your coach a knowing look and he calls for a timeout.

"She's really aggressive and reckless. I never knew that there could be anyone worse than Hinata," Kageyama says and Hinata whines next to him.

"Yeah, (Name)'s a totally different person on the court," Ukai sighs. The old man truly had a huge impact on your style. He probably didn't want you to end up like this though. "In her opinion, the ace is the main player of a team. She's basically using them to score points. There's not much teamwork, as you can see"

"Sounds like slavery to me," Asahi comments and everyone agrees with him, whispering a soft 'yeah'. Their attention is back to the screen as they hear your captain speaking again in a low and serious tone.

"Five points in a row. Can you do that?" You raise an eyebrow at her question and then roll your eyes. "You'll be on the bench the rest of the year if they get a single point"

"Can you stop threatening me?! I'm not a kid anymore! I don't work on a rewards system! In your case is a totally different system though..." You stick your tongue out at her.

"It's the only way I can motivate you to _actually_ do something. So, can you do it?"

"Of course I can do it!" You snap back at her, storming off to the back of the court. _'Fucking Daitan. I'm one of the top three aces, don't underestimate me because you are the oldest on the team'_

"This is going to be a total disaster," Ukai sighs again, covering his eyes with his palm. Even since you were a child, you hated when people were making fun of you. You always tried to prove that you are not how they say you are. Most of the times, things didn't end up so well. He always said that your pride was bigger than your whole body.

As the whistle is heard, you throw the ball in the air and hit it with your right hand. But it grazes against the top of the net and falls on the ground before someone can touch it. All of the girls were far in the back, prepared to receive the ball from there.

"What the fuck was that?" Your captain turns to look at you. You rub the back of your neck and chuckle. _At least you scored_. The ball is returned to you and your team gets two more points in a row. You are holding 3 fingers up from your right hand, mocking your rivals this way. You can see that they are starting to lose their concentration and their bodies are moving faster than their minds, giving you an advantage.

"Go with the left," Daitan says, without turning to look at you. You open wide your eyes then smile. She's really working you out for the missed practice. Fortunately, you've put your arm sleeve before the game started. You repeat the action you did the last three times, but this time you serve the ball with your left hand. It is received by one of the girls in the back, but it flies behind her and it lands on the ground.

They look at you with both shock and hate as you have one finger from your left hand and other three from your right one up, smirking. Your team is now at match-point.

"She can play with her left hand too?!" Sugawara asks, as amazed as the rest of the people around him.

"She's ambidextrous. Mom forced her to write with her right hand, but she always had more power in her left one. Plus, it throws the players off. It's sort of like a secret weapon"

The last jump-serve. This time you hit it so hard that it doesn't give the players from the other side of the net time to react. It seems like even the referee didn't see that one coming since it takes him a few seconds to whistle and point in your direction.

_And then it happens._

You start coughing really bad, feeling like your throat is going to break in two. You can taste blood in your mouth so when you look at the hand you used to cover your mouth with, you find the crimson liquid dripping from it on the floor. The pain in your stomach returns, being ten times worse than before. There's something warm on your top lip, but your body is too weak to let you lift your hand to touch it.

You look up at Daitan, _your captain, your friend,_ at her shocked and scared expression and realize that you haven't changed at all from your last year in high-school. You are still the same reckless girl you've always been and Keishin was _so_ right when he said that you didn't deserve the scholarship. _'A player that can't work with a team in a_ ** _team sport_** _doesn't deserve such a mighty title',_ he told you when you were packing your bags for Tokyo.

They all rush towards you, but the power in your legs is gone so you collapse on the floor; your eyelids feel heavy and everything turns to pitch-black when you close them. All the noises around you are gone. It's an awful silence and it's not long before you lose consciousness.

That is the beginning of your fall from the sky, as the wings you've used to fly are heavy, made out of lead and stopping you from reaching your highest goals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm torturing the poor Reader so much. This is a story about love and growth so sorry, no sorry, but it has to be like that🤷
> 
> Some things about this chapter:  
> →Four is considered a bad-luck number since the pronunciation in Japanese sounds the same with the word 'death'; it's really fitting for the theme of the chapter;  
> →'Daitan' means 'daring; bold one';  
> →I've never used the words 'team' or 'ball' so much in a story
> 
> I'm no medical student or volleyball player so some things might be exaggerated for the sake of the story.
> 
> USHIJIMA WILL BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, I PROMISE!!!🙇♀️
> 
> I've sorted everything I have planned for this story so there should be around 15 chapters. That's if I don't get more ideas along the way, which usually happens😅


	5. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖎𝖛𝖊

_"Ukai_ _(Name)_ _, one of Japan's top three aces, faints at the end of a match against (X) University. Her family didn't give much details about her health status, but it seems like—"_

Living 10 minutes away from campus means that you can't possibly be that late for classes. The new apartment is better than your old one, in many ways, one of them being that you don't have to take the bus anymore. Then why are you late, running on the halls to find your class? Goddammit, it's the first day too!

As you reach the big hardwood door, you open it and the teacher in front of the class stops to look at you. You are panting, hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath so you can apologize.

" _Ukai_ —" He sighs as he sees your form and continues, "Take a sit and come on time from now on," he doesn't say anything else and you bow and sit in an empty desk. "And don't run to class", he adds before returning to what he was saying earlier. It seems like the university is now aware of your condition, **_of your failure_**. Usually, he would have scolded you, since you were always late to his classes last year— _it was the bus's fault!_ —but he dropped it for today. You pull out your notebook and laptop and begin paying attention to him, unaware of the two pairs of eyes watching you from across the class.

"Oh? That's strange. What is she doing here?" The brown-haired boy asks the guy next to him, as both recognized you when you walked inside. He lifts his eyes and glances at you once, before returning to take notes.

"I don't know," that's all the olive-haired boy says and the other hums quietly. This is truly, truly interesting.

_What are you, a second-year student, doing in a class for first years?_

By the time your class ends, it's already lunch time. _'Thank God',_ you tell yourself, since you are starving. You forgot to set your alarm before going to bed last night and your two **lovely** roommates didn't wake you up before they left in the morning. You quickly pick up your things and head out, without realizing that the pair who watched you closely during class is now right behind you.

On your way to the cafeteria, your phone starts vibrating in your pocket. You pull it out, walking slower as you are reading the number on display. It's an unknown one so you contemplate for a few seconds if you should answer or not. You decide to take the call anyway; if it turns out to be a creep or a prank, you can just block the number. You lift the device to your ear, but before you can say anything, there is already a chaos on the other side of the line, voices overlapping. You are about to hang up, when it gets quiet and someone starts speaking.

"I'm sorry, is this Ukai (Name)?" There is a high-pitched voice talking, sounding more like a girl than a guy.

"Depends. Who's asking?"

"Ah! Umm...I'm Hinata Shoyo from Karasuno!" The name sounds familiar... Is he an old classmate? Oh, wait!—

"The small ginger from the volleyball team!" You exclaim, drawing the attention of the two behind you.

"Oh, you remember me!?" You laugh at the excitement in his voice.

"Of course I do! I'm sorry, I'm not good with names! But I cannot forget you that easily! The quick you and your setter do is amazing!"

"Did you hear that, Kageyama? (Name)-san complimented us!" He sounds like a child, unwrapping the gifts under the Christmas tree. You smile unconsciously. It's been a while since you had any type of interaction with someone else besides your roommates and family members. You realize that you are close to the cafeteria and eating and talking on the phone at the same time is rude so you decide to end the call, promising that after you finish all of your classes, you'll call them back.

"Shoyo-kun, I need to go. I'll call you later, okay? Also, you need to tell me how you got my number".

"Ukai-san gave it to us. He said that you got out of the hospital some time ago so we wanted to check on how you are!" That makes your heart melt. A person you've only seen once cares so much about you. In his eyes, you are still a powerful ace, a model for him. He doesn't see you like a failure...

"How sweet of my brother. Talk to you soon then—"

"Ah! Before you hang up! Did you hear that Ushijima-san and Oikawa-san are attending your university? They might even be in your classes," those names you will never be able to forget. Shiratorizawa and Seijoh's captains...

"Ah, I wasn't there when the teacher called our names so I can't know. Today I was planning to watch your matches against them so I still don't know how they look like, sorry. I felt really under the weather for these past few months so I couldn't catch up with anything..." you whisper the last sentence, hoping that he won't hear you. You cut all ties with volleyball: no news, no matches watched, _nothing_. The only things you knew were from your brother: Karasuno won against Seijoh and Shiratorizawa, but lost at the nationals.

"(Name)-san, are you—"

"I'm okay, don't worry!" Your phone is snatched from your hand by someone from behind you. You turn around to confront the robber, but are met with a large grin and big, brown eyes that give off an air of confidence. He takes the device to his ear and starts speaking in a childish voice.

"Chibi-chan, don't worry about your precious senpai! Ushiwaka-chan and I will take care of her! Bye-bye!" He hangs up and hands you back your phone, still grinning. You stare at him, shocked, a lot of things going through your mind at the same time. He is... Wait! Then the one next to him is—

"It's a pleasure to meet you! I'm Oikawa Toru! This bastard here is Ushijima Wakatoshi," he nods and you keep looking back and forth between them. You stopped walking a while ago, when Oikawa took your phone.

Is this the worst day of your life? For how long they've been there? Thank goodness you didn't say anything stupid...

"How about we eat lunch together? We have a lot to discuss. I'm really curios about why you are attending our classes," he proposes. Your mouth is agape; you are still not saying anything. You nod vaguely and start following the two men.

Yep, _it is_ the worst day of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I wouldn't update anything for another month, but I had this chapter almost done so I couldn't help myself. Now that Ushijima and Oikawa are here, things are finally getting interesting. 'Ohmygod, they are classmates'. 
> 
> This will be a very slow slow-burn with a bunch of crack and embarrassing moments. Some angst here and there, but not much. Just reader-chan being depressed basically. (mood)
> 
> I have to admit that I'm not a college student so I'll try to keep details about school to a minimum. I'm no longer a high-school student either since my year ended yesterday, I just have to take my exams. (That's why I'm going on hiatus). 


	6. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖎𝖝

Nobody says anything for a while. You eat your food in silence with the two and look around, trying to avoid their gazes. Miyagi's best setter and ace are here, at your University, and in a lot of your classes probably. You should've expected them to be here, after all, this place is known for offering a lot of scholarships for talented athletes.

You still ask yourself how did you managed to get here. It was probably because you were powerful and the best in Miyagi, otherwise, no one would've wanted a lone-wolf player that can't work with a team. The time in the hospital made you realize a lot of things about yourself: who you are, what you are, what you are doing here and _what you_ _are_ _going to do from now on_... But even so, you still feel like you are lost in a place you don't belong to.

Unknown to you, Oikawa sees the emptiness in your eyes. He had the same look too, after they lost to Karasuno. Ushijima notices it too, how you play and pick at your food. He barely knows you, but hates to see that look on your face. The setter is the first one to speak up.

"So, what are you doing here? You are one year older than us, right?" You lift your eyes from your plate.

"I couldn't go to the exams last year since I was recovering and they allowed me to retake the year," your explanation is short and straight to the point. There was no emotion in your voice, no trace of regret. But Oikawa knows that you are hiding a lot of things behind a stone mask, and maybe he shouldn't press on, but he wants to know. He opens his mouth to ask you something again.

"Recovery? You coughed some blood and fainted. Was it that bad?" You don't say anything else and just nod silently, avoiding to meet his eyes. He doesn't ask anything else and just lets you eat the rest of your food. He saw the match; after all, it was all over the news and magazines. He thought that they took you out of the team because of your style of playing, but this is much worse than he imagined.

As you are done with your food, you get up from your seat, ready to leave and ignore them for the rest of your life if possible, but Shiratorizawa's ex-captain speaks up for the first time.

"You didn't deserve to win that match," he says bluntly. You turn around, glaring at him with a _'huh?'_ that escapes your lips on an annoyed tone _,_ but he keeps going, "you're powerful and confident in your own strength, but your team doesn't need an ace that cannot devote herself to them. You acted selfish and your body suffered because of it," Oikawa's eyes are wide open at the words coming from the guy next to him. When he looks back at you, he sees how hard you are gripping the tray in your hands. Your jaw is tightly clenched and your eyes most likely have tears in them.

God-fucking-dammit, he needs to teach _Ushiwaka_ some manners, especially when talking to girls.

"I don't need your insults too. Stay away from me and don't speak to me ever again," your voice is barely above a whisper. You turn on your heels and quickly leave the cafeteria without looking back at them.

"How can you be so heartless, really now?!" The setter screams at him, but Ushijima doesn't seem to understand what he is talking about. He told you what he was thinking of you, based on the video he saw too. Oikawa sighs. From all the people from Shiratorizawa, why him? Even their 'Guess Monster' would've been a better companion.

"What do you mean? My heart is fine," he wants to punch him in the guts so hard. _'Calm down, Toru. It's not worth it'._ Oikawa looks down at his food; he no longer has the appetite to eat the rest of it.

"(Name)-chan was probably in the hospital for a long time, after all, she said that she had to recover. I'm sure that she reflected on her mistakes every day. They say that your own mind is your worst enemy," he lifts up his finger in an accusatory gesture towards the olive-haired boy, "but you just put more salt on her wounds, you idiot!"

"I didn't touch her, we just talked," he's utterly defeated by Ushijima's obliviousness. _'Thank God this guy is good at volleyball'_

"You are terrible. I'm _so_ glad I didn't go to Shiratorizawa. I would've strangled you from the first day"

"That's illegal. You would've gone to jail for that"

"Shut up! Stop talking!"

•••

The next day is worse than the first one. They stare at you from the back of the class the whole time as the woman in front of you goes on and on about God knows what since you couldn't concentrate properly on the subject. At least you weren't late this time; your roommates pampered you last night after you told them about whom you had the misfortune to encounter. They laughed at you and then took you out for a movie. And they woke you up this morning before they left for their classes.

Reflecting on these events makes you happy. You'll forever be grateful to them and thanking the destiny, God, _someone_ , for dropping them in your life when you needed love and support the most.

So, when the class is finally over, you gather your stuff and fly out the door as fast as you can, but Oikawa grabs you by the arm in the hallway, stopping your attempt of running away from them.

"What do you want?" You hiss back at him. He sees how hard you are frowning at him so he lets go of you. He's not going to risk getting punch in the face for Ushijima's sake. He's a big guy, he can handle this himself. I mean, he hopes that the guy finally understood what he did wrong yesterday. As Oikawa tries to find the words he wants to say, you click your tongue and start walking away.

It seems like you'll go home and not hang around the campus until your next class starts since you don't want to encounter them again. The less time you spend with them, the better you feel. Also, seeing Ushijima makes you want to punch him. The stoic man will surely make an interesting face.

"I apologize for my behavior from the previous day. I didn't mean to upset you or make you feel worse about what happened. Oikawa informed me that you've reflected on your mistakes so I'm sure that you'll be a better player in the future. I believe in you," you turn around to check if he's making fun of you, but find the same expressionless look on his face. You sigh, but don't allow yourself to smile, even though his words are truly sincere. It feels weird to have someone say those things to you.

What you don't understand is why he apologized in the first place. Does he have anything to win by saying that? He's a boy, so... _maybe..._

"What do you want from me, really now?" You asked, annoyed. You didn't mean to sound like that, but it's better to be cautious now than sorry later.

"To hang out," _oh,_ "besides him, you're the only person here I sort of know. If you think that he was harsh with you yesterday, imagine hearing him pointing out every year that you've been better off at his school"

"But you should've come to Shiratorizawa," Ushijima says and you see a large vein on Oikawa's forehead about to burst.

"We are in the same university, so can you drop that now? Karasuno beat your ass and went to the nationals so your school wasn't invincible either!" You start giggling, grabbing the attention of both men. "Why are you laughing at us? More importantly, how do you know Chibi-chan? He called you yesterday and you seemed very familiar with him!"

"Ah, Shoyo-kun? He's my junior! I'm from Karasuno too," you answer proudly. Even though they didn't win the nationals, they beat the teams whose captains are in front of you now. Oikawa's eyes are wide open and he clears his throat, regaining his posture.

"Still want to hang out with me?" You smirk at them, but Oikawa returns the gesture. _Fuck_ , you hoped that this will be enough to push them away.

"I hate you a little bit more now, but my offer still stands up," you hum, grabbing your chin, thinking about it when he adds: "don't leave me alone with him anymore, I'm starting to lose my mind! I'll have white hair before I turn twenty!" You burst out laughing, easing up. Yeah, you can hang out with them, why not? They don't seem like bad people after all. _Even though_ _at first_ _you assumed that they wanted to sleep with you... oops..._

"Okay, okay. I'll join you before you end up murdering each other. I'm Ukai (Name). And before you ask, yes, my grandfather is _that_ Ukai and my brother is Karasuno's current coach. You've probably meet him at your matches: tall, stupid bleached hair and a dumb face," you start walking towards the exit of the building, still planning to head home.

"So, where to?" Oikawa asks as you reach the gates of your university.

"I live close by so I'm going home to rest a bit before my next class starts," you don't know what makes you say the next sentence: "You want to come with me? My roommates are not home so I was thinking of watching your matches with my juniors"

"You bet I want to see this guy's face up close when he lost," you laugh at his statement then look at Ushijima, but he doesn't seem affected by the brown-haired boy's words. You start leading them to your place, talking about different things on your way with mostly Oikawa. You try to include Ushijima in your conversation, but he only speaks when addressed.

You're happy. You don't know what's attracting captains to be around you, but you don't find yourself complaining. After all, the other two captains in your life are bringing dinner tonight after their classes end. So, for the moment, you can enjoy what's left of your life as a college student without having to worry about what will happen after this year ends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still on hiatus, I just finished this one chapter today since I had nothing else to do.
> 
> Two more weeks and I'll be back fully and posting more. I'll also update my xReader work then since I feel like I've neglected it.
> 
> I've also added 5 more chapters to the story (3 of which will be smut) so in total we have around twenty. Give me another week and I'll change that to 30 (I'm joking, I don't want to drag the story like that forever)


	7. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓

You reach for the door of your shared apartment and find it unlocked as you try to twist the key in the lock. _'Fuck, fuck, fuck'_

"Is everything alright?" Oikawa asks, noticing that you don't make any move. This can't be happening.... them meeting your roommates _so soon_ it's a big 'no-no', especially since—!

Before you can finish your train of thought, the door in front of you opens wide and reveals a tall, black-haired male. His hazel eyes are wide open at first, but he soon smirks, ready to make fun of you.

"Oh, you have a boyfriend?" Oikawa hums, amused. As you try to defend yourself, you hear loud and fast footsteps coming from inside and another person pops behind him. His bright yellow orbs, as well as his mouth are wide open. "Two boyfriends?!" Oikawa gasps, covering his mouth with his hand in a dramatic way. You sigh loudly.

_Especially since both of them are guys._

"Oh my! Look at this, Bokuto! Our dear (Name) is at that age when she sneaks boys in her room without telling us! She grew up so fast, without us noticing!" He wipes non-existing tears from under his eyes and you roll yours.

"I thought you were at school!"

"We finished early. And this idiot here got hungry so we came back to eat," Kuroo grins widely at you and you know that he'll tease you so much after Oikawa and Ushijima leave. "Don't stay there, come in, we don't bite!... _Hard,"_ you shot him a glare, letting your two guests to go in first and then Kuroo locks the door behind you, still having a shit-eating grin on his face. You all get inside, removing your shoes and stepping in the actual apartment. It's not that big: a walk-in kitchen connected with the small living room, two bedrooms and a bathroom.

"Then we'll be off to my room," you turn to face your bedroom's door, when Kuroo start speaking again. You'll surely shove toilet paper in his mouth while he sleeps for this.

"You are not going to introduce us? How rude of you, _kitten_!"

"Stop with the 'kitten' bullshit before I punch you!" You sigh, _again_ , and clear your throat. "This is Kuroo Tetsuro, Nekoma's former captain and," you point at the silver-haired man, "Bokuto Koutaro, Fukurodani's former captain. You two already know Ushijima-san and Oikawa-san so..." 

"You are living with two captains?! You are one lucky girl, (Name)-chan"

"If lucky means being afraid that they'll set the apartment on fire once you go to sleep, then I guess I am _lucky"_

"Now you are exaggerating!" Bokuto butts in, hands crossed over his large chest. He's pouting and frowning, trying to appear serious. You make a face at him: raising your brows, keeping your lips pressed in a firm line and titling your head a bit.

"Oh, really? Then whose fault is that our microwave is broken?" Kuroo starts laughing, holding his sides and letting out hyena-like noises while Bokuto looks away from you, still pouting, but more like a child now. "Also," you look at the wall clock in the living room and then back to them. "Aren't your classes about to start?" Instantly, they bolt to the entrance, grabbing their backpacks in the process and start putting on their shoes.

"Don't forget to buy dinner!" You yell after them as they close the front door. You hear their loud footsteps on the stairs, as well as a bunch of swears coming from the black-haired man. Entering your bedroom, the two guys notice that it looks as simple as the rest of your home. Well, you are a college student after all and you won't be living in this apartment forever, so there's no point in having that much furniture.

One thing that catches Ushijima's attention is the string frame on your wall. He never pays attention to details, but this feels special to you, and somehow, to him too. There are a lot of picture hanged with wooden clips from different moments of your life. There's one with your brother, Karasuno's boys' team, Karasuno's girls' team while you were the captain, probably those are your parents in another one since they look rather old and like you, different friends and finally, the two ex-captains. What he finds interesting is that there's none with your _actual_ team.

"Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want people to get the wrong idea of me!"

"Don't worry, we won't," Ushijima speaks for both of them. He's not a fan of gossips, frankly, he _hates_ them, since the majority of the time they are just lies.

"We won't **if** you tell us what actually happened to you," the setters says, this time, not smiling.

"Oikawa..." Ushijima growls at him, but he's not having it.

"Don't act like you are not curious too!"

"It's okay, don't worry!" You intervene between them. "A lot of the teachers know already and it won't be long before the whole school finds out as well, so it's better to hear it from me" 

It's weird. You haven't told anyone about what happened that day. Bokuto and Kuroo knew from the first day since your brother went to the hospital while they were at the training camp and he had to tell them.

"I don't even know from where to begin..." You look down at your hands and the word _'failure'_ keeps repeating itself in your mind. "Basically I..." your voice dies in your throat for a moment. God, it's shitty to admit all of this. "I was in a coma for about three weeks," you don't look up at them, but know very well that their eyes are wide open. "When I woke up, my whole body was sore and I could barely move my arms and legs. I had to learn how to write, eat and walk again. They said that it was a miracle that I could recover so fast".

When they don't speak, you take this as an opportunity to continue.

"Volleyball was always my passion. I played it because I wanted to and it was always fun to me. But after I entered college, it became really stressful. The girls already considered me their ace and talked all the time about winning. That put a lot of pressure on me. There were other things going in my life and so everything kept piling up. I was barely eating or sleeping. Before that match, I couldn't even attend practice because I couldn't get out of bed. I think that my body knew that I would keep mistreating it so it shut itself down"

"But you'll return to playing soon, right?" Oikawa asks and you jump at his question.

"Y-Yeah... The doctors told me to take it easy this year and focus more on healing myself and maybe start playing next year, but not as a regular"

"Then we have nothing to worry about. I can't wait to see you play again, (Name)-chan," You nod and smile at them. _If only they knew..._

"And what about your roommates? How did you end up living together?" Oikawa's grin is back on his face, as all this time he kept a serious expression on.

"Ah! Uh... I met them at a training camp in summer. Karasuno got invited and my brother asked me to come to see them play. Since my other roommates graduated and this apartment is closer to the University, I decided to move in with them," _and that was a lie_. The last part at least.

You fish for the CDs of their matches in your drawer while asking Oikawa to pull out your laptop from your bag. This will be a fun evening.

•••

Several days have passed from this 'incident'. You started hanging out more at your place between classes, sometimes meeting up with Kuroo and Bokuto. The first one teased you so much when they returned back from classes that day: _'I'll_ _never speak to them again in my whole life and the next day you show up with them at the door!'_ You were thinking of shoving the plunger down his throat, but decided to leave him be since watching the boys play put you in a good mood.

Overall, they seemed to get along with each other, maybe way _too_ much in Oikawa's case.

Now, you were worried that there was a third possible person to set the **whole building** on fire. And they'll probably convince Ushijima to help them. Poor boy, with that stoic face, you expected him to be smart and composed, but he's as dumb as a rock. If it's not related to volleyball, he's not interested so his grades aren't the best. He's polite to the others, but too innocent for his own good.

You are brought back from your thinking state by the loud voices of children around you. Since it's your turn preparing the dinner, you went to a bigger convenience store to buy everything you needed so, right now, you are passing by a playground, packed with people. It is late in the evening; the sun is still up and the weather is nice outside. It will be a shame if you don't take advantage of it, but you have to return home and cook for the two hungry beasts. Since your nutritionist gave you a strict diet, you had to make food for yourself and the boys were happy with home-made food too.

As you move past the scenery in front of you, you encounter a stray child with no parent around him, wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his sweater. Normally, you would pass by and let the said parent pick up his brat, but this child seems lost; he keeps looking right and left and more tears start forming in his eyes as he doesn't find what he's looking for. You know very well that if you ignore him, you'll remember this moment for the rest of your life and blame yourself for not helping him. And if there's a news report about a child gone missing, it will end you. _'Argh, screw it!'_

You approach him, kneeling down to his level to get a better look at his face. His blue eyes are big and puffy and his nose and face is red. For how long has he been here?

"Hey, are you okay?" You ask him, and maybe that's not the best way to start a conversation with a child, but oh well, what can you do?

"Who are you? Do you know my mommy?" His voice trembles when he speaks. He's afraid and it's normal.

"No, I don't, I'm sorry. Are you lost?"

"Mommy told me not to speak with strangers," he mumbles, looking down as he fidgets with his fingers.

"Then how about I help you find your mother? I'm sure that she's worried about you. Do you remember where you last saw her?" He finally looks at you between his long and black bangs. There's a sparkle of hope in his sad eyes.

"Kaito-kun?" Another person speaks from behind you and you turn around to meet them. As you make eye contact, your blood freezes in your veins and you feel shivers going all over your body. _This guy is fucking creepy._ Your first instinct is to grab the child and get the fuck away from this dude as quick as possible.

"Tendou-san!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaaack! Gosh, it feels so good posting again, I've missed all of you!
> 
> I wanted to post a bigger chapter, but decided to split it in two since it had around 4k words. I'll post the next one after I finish editing it!
> 
> I'm so happy that Tendou's here, he deserves the world. He'll play an important role in the story as the best wing man.
> 
> ASDSGF I don't even know what to say, I'm just so happy to be stress-free and write again. I'm trying to complete this story by the end of July so I can start a new project. Hopefully, that one won't be as big as Lead wings.
> 
> Thank you for your patience and for the kudos and hits!♥


	8. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖊𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

The child runs from his spot and jumps in his arms and is caught by the guy. It takes you a moment to process how Kaito was afraid of _you_ , but not of _him!?_ Behind his red and long bangs, his eyes of the same wild color are watching you closely. He has two black spike piercings under both sides of his lower lip. And the fact that he's all dressed in black doesn't clear your suspicions about him.

"Why are you here all by yourself? Where's Yamada-san?"

"I got lost and this nice lady was about to help me find mommy!" You get up and your eyes meet again. The shivers are back. And then he makes a surprised face and his mouth forms an 'o' shape.

"You're the girl that served with both her hands and then fainted!" He seems excited while saying it.

"Oh... Um... yeah, that's me," now that you look at him closely, he seems familiar. He's not in your university, you would've recognized him immediately, there's no way a figure like his won't be forever implanted in your brain. Weren't you bad just at remembering names? Faces too?!

"I'm Tendou Satori, nice to meet you! We live in the same complex so I'll take Kaito-kun home myself if that's okay with you," there's no fucking way you're letting the child alone with this guy. Everything about him screams _'danger'_.

"I think I'm going in the same direction. Mind if I join you?" This is such an obvious lie and you hope that he doesn't catch on. Luckily, he smiles— _looking fucking terrifying_ —and agrees. Oh, thank God.

You pull out your phone and quickly text your roommates that something came up and you'll be late so they should either starve to death or eat some old food from the fridge. Tendou also calls Kaito's mother —guess that he _did_ know them after all— and informs her about her son.

"I'm Ukai (Name), by the way," you introduce yourself. The child is holding onto Tendo's large hand and humming a song you can't recognize. He looks better than before, no longer pale or shaking. Tendo helped him wipe his face and blow his runny nose.

"I know your name"

"What?" You ask, taken aback by his sincere answer.

"Wakatoshi-kun and I are good friends. We watched your match together since it was all over the news and then he told me that he met you on the first day. He also said that you got _reaaally_ mad at him when he gave you his opinion about the match. Knowing Wakatoshi-kun, he probably sounded rude and insensitive since he never sugarcoats his words or says something he doesn't mean just to make you feel better, hahaha. He'll give you his honest opinion without hesitating"

"You sound like you really admire him," just like the rest of your university, since girls have already started asking him out, but he refused every single one of them, without giving them any concrete explanation: _'I'm not interested in dating someone at the moment,'_ he says.

"Well, we've been on the same team for three years. He was my captain too!"

"You are from Shiratorizawa?" The gears in your head start working and you finally put two and two together. Now you realize why you had the feeling that he seemed familiar. "Wait, you're Guess Monster?" you gasp.

"Oh, so you know me after all!"

"I couldn't recognize you with your hair down"

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't have time to style it when I left. So, how comes that you've heard of my nickname?"

"My brother told me about you and I've also watched the match with Karasuno a few days ago. Though, I wish I could've been there in person," you lower your voice for the last part. You couldn't be there for the finals; you couldn't be there for the nationals... _what a shitty senpai you are._

"Don't worry, I don't think they're mad at you. They're probably relieved that you're okay now"

On your way, you find out that he's a college student too, in the first year, and he wants to become a kindergarten teacher. That was so shocking coming from him, you actually stopped walking and stared at him for a few seconds before he asked you if you were okay. After about ten minutes you reach the building and Kaito flies from the two of you straight into his mother's arms. She starts scolding him after putting him back on the ground and the redhead intervenes to calm her down.

"Thank you so much, Tendou-kun!"

"Ah, don't give me all the credit, Yamada-san! (Name)-chan was about to help him when I found them," you aren't expecting him to mention this. You basically didn't do anything.

"Want to come in for a cup of tea?" He asks you, pointing with his thumb behind him. You look at the time on your phone, ignoring the messages on the group-chat with Bokuto and Kuroo, and decide that you can have this much today.

"Honeeey! I'm hooome!" He yells as he gets inside his apartment, while removing his shoes and sprinting to his room to drop his backpack. Who in the right mind would live with him, let alone date him?! Okay, maybe you _should_ stop judging him this hard. He already proved that he's not a drug addict or a pedophile so—

There's a door opening to your right as you step inside and steam emerges from there together with a person...

You quickly turn around, covering your bright red face with your palms. Why is **he** here? Why is he **_half naked_ **too?!

Ushijima has a white towel draped around his shoulders. His hair is still wet, big droplets falling and gliding down on his perfect chiseled chest and abdomen. _'Holy fuck, he's **so** ripped'_. He's wearing grey sweatpants that are low on his hips so you can see the elastic of his boxers.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, not affected by the current situation. You can't bring yourself to look back at him. Tendou comes back just in time to pull you out from your misery as you still can't give an answer to the olive-haired man. The redhead's bangs are now held back by a headband, exposing his pale face and more of his soulless eyes. You'll have to get used to them eventually.

"Wakatoshi-kun, we have a guest! Don't come out looking like that! Where are your manners?" He laughs.

"You didn't tell me (Name) was coming over," Tendou shoos the tall boy towards the door of his supposed bedroom and tells him to not to get out there unless he's dressed and dry. He then turns to you, grinning.

"Why didn't you tell me that you live with Ushijima?!" Now the redness of your face is due to anger. He played you. He made fun of you. _This asshole!_

"I wanted to surprise you! I wasn't expecting Wakatoshi-kun to come out like that from the bathroom, my bad!" He's not sorry and you know it.

"I'm leaving," you announce, heading towards the front door, but he grabs you by your arm.

"Okay, okay, I'm really, _really_ sorry!" You frown at him, but decide to give in. He hops towards the kitchen and you follow him. He reaches for three cups from the cupboard and places them on the kitchen counter, starting to prepare the promised tea.

"So, what happened to you?" The question catches you off guard. You were sure that he already knew, since him and Ushijima are this close.

"Ushijima didn't tell you?"

"Tell him what?" You jump in your seat as the olive-haired comes from behind you, this time fully clothed.

"About... my... hospitalization," you trail off, swallowing your pride.

"I didn't," he says simply. And for some reason, that makes you _stupidly_ happy.

As Tendou finishes making the tea, you all sit around their table. You decide to tell him the whole story from the very beginning and he listens without interrupting you. When you finish, you look at your reflection in the liquid of your cup.

"What matters the most is that you've learnt from your mistakes and that you're willing not to let it happen again," the red-haired says. Ushijima looks at you, but doesn't say anything. He didn't say anything at your apartment either. _'He's probably judging me...'_

"I have two roommates that will kill me if I do something like that again"

"They must really love you then! Girls always take care of each other"

"Oh, no, no, no, they're both guys," Tendou opens wide his eyes, staring at you like you've just said the most controversial thing. It's not that weird for a girl and a boy to live together, even though they're not dating, you think. Is it because there are _two_ guys involved?

"Then you are lucky, (Name)-chan!"

"Trust me, you wouldn't think I'm lucky, if you had actually met them"

"I'm sure that I'll do sometime in the future. But shouldn't you head home? It's getting late and you don't leave in this area, right?" _Crap_. He knew from the start.

"Err... no... I live close to my university"

"Heeh, that's pretty far away from here," he then turns to face his roommate. "Wakatoshi-kun, do you mind taking her home? My favorite show is about to start and I don't want to miss it. Today there's a special episode arriving!"

"Okay," he says blankly, getting up to place his cup in the sink.

"No, it's fine! You don't have to, really! I—" You insist, mostly because you don't want to be left alone with him. But he interrupts you before you can give various excuses like: _'I'll call a cab'_ or _'I'll ask one of my roommates to come and pick me up'._

"I don't have something else to do. I'll go grab my keys and phone," as soon as he's out of your sight, you turn to the redhead and glare at him. He smirks at you.

"Why do you keep pushing Ushijima to be around me?"

"Oh, so you noticed? As expected from someone like you!" He hums and offers you an amused look.

"Answer me"

"I think that you two have something to learn from each other," you frown at look at him, not understanding what he means. "Also, if you two get together, Tooru-kun owns me 1000 yen"

"You bastard!" As you're about to reach and strangle him, the door of Ushijima's bedroom opens and he comes out, sporting a dark blouse over his T-shirt, the items he had to retrieve in his hands.

"It's cold outside. Do you want me to borrow you a jacket?" He asks it with such easiness that it makes you wonder if he considers you a girl after all.

"No, I'm good! Let's go," you glare at Tendou one more time before heading to the front door to put on your shoes. Ushijima follows, grabbing a pair of running shoes from their rack.

"Can you buy ice-cream when you come back? I need something to eat while I cry," _Is this guy serious?_ Ushijima gives him a look and the redhead puts his hands up, "I promise I will eat dinner too!" You grab your shopping bags and wait for the ace to open the door.

"Don't let the poor girl carry all of those herself! Be a gentleman and help her, Wakatoshi-kun"

"Okay," he holds his hand in the air so you can pass him one of the bags. You can try to protest, but know that it will be useless against him.

"Bye bye! Take care! See you later, (Name)-chan!"

And as you expect, the walk towards your apartment is awkward as fuck. Not only that you don't speak to each other, but you look like a couple that had a fight and plans to settle it once they get home. You can't even bring yourself to look at him. This is the worst.

Tendou's words are still being repeated in your mind. You don't understand what he meant by that. But something else has been bothering you and so you let your curiosity win.

"Why didn't you tell Tendou?" You look at him, but he doesn't spare you a glance and keeps walking in the normal peace.

"I didn't want you to get mad at me again for saying something I shouldn't. I have no right to spread personal information about you without your consent," you smile sadly. He has to be _fucking_ perfect, huh.

"It won't be long before the whole planet finds out anyway. I did it again, would you look at that?" You chuckle softly. "Two years ago, I fell at the nationals and almost cracked my head open. Somehow, I managed to worsen my luck. I'm a failure of a captain, of an ace. Both my teams lost because of me, because I wasn't there to do my _goddamn_ job"

"Volleyball is a team sport. You can't do everything on your own. If they didn't win without you it means that they were weak themselves," okay, _ouch_. You sigh.

"You can't understand me, Ushijima. You're a champion, an ace everyone looks up to, you are—" he cuts you off before you can finish.

"Why do you compare yourself with me when you have all that talent yourself? You are who you are because of your own hard-work. It has nothing to do with your name or with the scholarship. They put you in the top three because you are good"

_'He never says something he doesn't mean just to make you feel better'_

Your eyes are wide open. This was totally unexpected. He used the same harsh tone like he did in the cafeteria, but this time, he was... praising you? Seeing your dumbfound expression, Ushijima decides to go on. He sees you as an equal, someone as good as him.

"My team was the strongest team in Miyagi, I never thought that we could lose against Karasuno, but I didn't blame it on me or on them. My opponents were just stronger. And that made me want to improve more so I can defeat them next time," confident, didn't stutter or made it entirely about himself... "Don't let what happened in the past drag you down. You're more than a clumsy player"

_' You two have something to learn from each other'. Ah, so **this** is what he meant, huh..._

"Thanks," you smile at him, as he turns to look at you. "For uhh, saying those things. It made me feel better about myself," the small smile he gives you is barely there, but you don't miss it. Your heart skips a beat, but you don't pay attention to it.

The rest of the way you still don't talk, but now you enjoy the silence between the two of you. You have a dumb smile all the time.

•••

Kuroo chokes on his food, hitting his chest with his fist while also reaching for a glass of water.

"Someone up there sure loves you. So many girls would sell their _souls_ to be in your position: living with two handsome dudes, having other two around you, one of them being Shiratorizawa's ace. And oh! He's also courting you!" He wiggles his eyebrows and you make a face of disgust at him, taking a slow bite from your food.

"Ew. Don't say or do that ever again. And he's not courting me! Tendou said the same thing, that me and him would start dating! What's with you people?! He even made a bet with Oikawa!"

"Oh, but we did too!" Bokuto informs you, mouth full of food.

"What?!"

"Oikawa says that you won't end up together since Ushijima doesn't care about anything but volleyball and that you hate him and won't be able to put up with his bluntness"

"I don't hate him!" You protest immediately. Their eyes light up. _Oh no..._

"Oya oya?"

"Oya oya oya? You denied it really fast, kitten," here comes another week of them teasing you not only for seeing Ushijima half-naked, but also because you like him and won't admit it.

"I hate both of you. I'll go ahead and take a shower, you two wash the dishes," you dismiss yourself quickly.

Later at night, as you lay in bed trying to fall asleep, the events of today are refreshed in your mind. It's not that you don't like Ushijima—well, you've known him for a few weeks—or have something against dating him, even though you're sure that he'll reject you too, it's just the fact that by this time next year, **you'll be already back in Miyagi, trying to make something out of your meaningless life.**

There's no point in involving yourself in _another_ relationship that will end up being a disaster. You sigh. When did your life started to become such a mess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I got caught up with other things and then I re-did the dialogue between Reader and Ushijima since I'm hard to please and hated it the first time.
> 
> The next chapter is... *looks at her notes* oh, mildly tragic. The next next one will be heartbreaking. Enough with the crack, let's get fucking sad.


	9. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊

You tie your shoelaces and get up, stretching your body one more time before exiting your apartment. The cold air of the morning hits you as you step outside the building, but it's a refreshing feeling. Even a nostalgic one, but you know for sure that this is not the time to dwell on the past or on _'what if's._ You've already made up your mind and are ready to face everything that is going to be thrown at you.

It's weekend and you decided to go out jogging in the morning. Bokuto and Kuroo were still sleeping when you left since their practice starts later today. You use this as an excuse to stop thinking about the letter you got yesterday, but as your legs keep moving faster and faster, you find yourself running with no exact destination. It's what you do best: chasing something, but not having an idea of what you actually want.

_You're pathetic, you're a failure. Everyone put their trust in you, but you never met their expectations. What are you doing here? Why are you still trying?_

**'We are sorry to inform you—'**

"(Name)?" You are snapped out of your hectic pace and chaotic thoughts by a deep voice. You stop and turn around to meet those emotionless olive eyes. You gasp for a deep breath of air as the world starts spinning around you. You overdid it, _again_ , but what's new? Before you can fall on the ground, two strong arms catch you. 'Good job', you tell yourself. Now he is going to witness you fainting live.

When you come back to your senses, you find yourself sitting on a bench, with Ushijima closely looking at you. He gets up.

"I'll bring you a bottle of water, wait here," and as he promises, he returns quickly with a bottle of cold water and hands it to you. You finish it whole like it was one shot of vodka. He takes his seat back on the bench, but keeps his distance. _Always so polite._

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah. It's the first time I'm going out jogging since I've been out of the hospital," he doesn't say anything so you turn to look at him. In the short time you've spend together, you have come to realize that Ushijima communicates his emotions through body language. And now his eyes look at you with concern but also with distrust. "What is it?"

"You looked like you were about to cry. I thought that someone was chasing you since you were running that fast," _'Fuck, really?'_ Truth be told, you were actually running away from your problems, from something that will happen anyway.

"You are worrying me, (Name). Tell me what's wrong," his tone still stays the same, but his eyes soften. _'God fucking dammit, stop being so perfect.'_

"I received... some bad news yesterday"

"Does it have something to do with your volleyball career?" You hesitate.

"No," _yes_ , "my grandpa is back in the hospital after collapsing again," you want to punch yourself in the face.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he gets better soon. But that's not a reason to push yourself like this. Your body is still recovering," you puff on your nose.

"My grandfather was the one that taught me and my brother volleyball. Keishin quit after high-school so all of his attention was on me. What about you, Ushijima? From where did you learn volleyball?"

"My father. He quit before getting married to my mom though. He asked her to let me be left-handed. It is thanks to him that I'm able to play like this. I was lucky," the subject deviates from here and you end up talking about his current team, your university one.

"You're not going to return to your team until next year, right?"

"Uh, yeah...Why?" You answer hesitantly. You don't like where this is going.

"Then be our manager for the time being."

"What?"

"The coach asked us to find someone that can help us during practice and official matches with different things like filling up water bottles or taping our fingers. I thought that you would be our best option since you're a player so you know what you should expect from a manager"

"Uh... I don't know what to say, really..."

"You don't have to give me an answer now. But please considered it. This is the closest you'll be to volleyball until you're fully recovered to be able to play again"

"S-Sure, I'll think about it," he gives you a small smile and your heart melts. _Oh, no._

"Let's go, I'll walk you home," _t_ _his is **so** bad._

You two are getting closer and closer, and you know that you should stop, but you can't help it. It's been a while since you've been able to talk with someone so freely, especially about volleyball. Every time you think about this sport, you feel discomfort in your stomach, like you're about to throw up.

_But you knew that it would be too good to be true. There's always a storm coming after the waters have calmed down._

••• _  
_

As you are sitting outside in the yard of your university, reading a book, someone approaches you: a figure so distant, yet so familiar. (Color) eyes meet black ones and you want to leave immediately. But you know that you won't escape without a scolding.

"What do you want?" You ask with a harsh tone. You already know what Daitan wants, why she's here in the first place.

"Stop messing around and return to practice already," she answers in the same manner.

"No," you say simply and shove the book in your bag, "I'm done with volleyball for the rest of my life. I've quit"

"You can't be serious," people are gathering around and that's the last thing you want. "You are in Japan's top three and you have a bright future ahead of you! You are _our_ ace! We need you—"

"Oh, _now_ you need me? Where have you been, all of you, when I was in the hospital? When _I_ needed you? None of you bitches came to see me. So, stop pretending that you actually care about me!" You snap back at her and leave.

"They are taking away your scholarship! How can you be so stubborn and reckless in a situation like this?!" Daitan yells after you, but you don't turn back to answer or to look at her.

Unknown to you, among the few students that took part in your heated exchange, the two ex-captains were also listening. Daitan feels a hand on her shoulder so she turns around and is met with Oikawa's grin and Ushijima's grave scowl.

"Yahoo, captain-chan! Would you mind telling us what's actually going on? You see, our dear (Name)-chan never mentioned quitting volleyball"

"You don't know?" When Oikawa shakes his head, she sighs. "Of course, you don't. Let's take a seat and I'll tell you everything I know"

She has seen you around with the two many times, so, she hoped that they might bring back your passion, but it seems like you've left them completely in the dark. Typical of you: keeping everything hidden until it explodes in your face.

"When (Name) returned, she immediately came to announce that she's retiring. At first, I thought that it was due to her medical condition, but apparently, she's healed enough to attend practice. Something," a pause. Daitan feels like crying. "Something made her change her mind. And I-I know that it's my fault"

"Does it have to do with you not visiting her?" She nods, looking down.

"We were ashamed to tell her that we lost every single game since then without her. We didn't practice enough because we've put all of our trust in her. We've supported her theory that the ace has to do everything, even though we knew that it was bad. But as long as we were winning, it was enough"

"You've put pressure on her until she broke down," Ushijima states in a cold tone. A nod, again.

"And what about the university taking away her scholarship?" Oikawa asks. If this girl is going to tell them everything, he might as well take advantage of it.

"They agreed to keep her here if she returns next year as a regular, not necessary as a starting player, but she quit for real so they no longer find her useful. They can replace her with someone else, maybe not as good, but that wants to be here. The University is going to cover only another semester for her so she has to pay from now on, but—"

"She's giving up on this as well," Oikawa sighs. Wow, you are fucking insane _and_ stubborn as hell. He wishes Ushijima 'good luck' in his mind in dealing with someone like you.

"Where are you going?" The setter asks the olive-haired as he starts walking away.

"I need to speak with someone"

Ushijima can't understand why he does this for you, but he wants you to remain here and to keep playing volleyball. He wants to see you shine in the same way you did at your last game when you walked to the court, confident and unstoppable. He won't let you fuck up your future like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally writing what I said in the description months ago. Haha, prepare emotionally for the next chapter since I'm already feeling like shit for writing it. I feel like I've fucked up the story, idk why
> 
> We're basically at the half, since 3 chapters will be smut soooooo  
> Kinda makes me sad ngl


	10. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖊𝖓

As you're washing the dishes from your previous meal, you keep thinking about the latest days and how full of shit they've been: a letter from your University informing you that your scholarship will be revoked, Daitan putting more salt on your wounds by constantly pressing you to return to the team, finals coming, and, _oh_ , some feeling you have for the olive-haired ace that _you weren't aware of._ But ever since the day he caught you before collapsing and placed you on the bench, you've been only thinking about the warmth of his body and the smell of his cologne that was left on your skin for a while.

Frankly, you are probably at your lowest point in life and you're not sure how much you can still endure. Sooner or later, you are going to explode and it's going to be messy for both you and your loved ones. You only 'need' one more push and it will be over.

Being so deep in your thoughts, you don't hear the front door opening and only realize that your roommates are back home from their celebration party when Kuroo makes his way in the kitchen, now behind you.

"Yo, kitten. Wassup?"

He's reeking of alcohol, but it seems like he can walk straight as he opens the cupboard and takes a glass to pour some water for himself. You move away, letting him fill up his glass in the sink, but you keep scrubbing at the plate in your hands.

You jolt when you feel his large palm on the lower of your back, slowly stroking you. You are frozen. You try to say something, but your voice is stuck in your throat as you feel his body pressing harder against yours.

"You know, I've always wondered how good you are in bed, kitty. You've always made me crazy for you," his voice in your ear is like thunder. He tries to lift your shirt, but you find strength in yourself and push him away, slapping him hard against the face. In the process, both his glass and the plate from your hands are dropped, probably breaking, but you don't care.

The impact is so strong and unexpected that you knock him down from his feet. He somehow sobered up; the way he looks at you: with wide eyes while holding his face, tells you that he wasn't aware of his actions, but it's too late.

This was the last drop; the glass was tipped over, spilling everywhere in the same way as your tears are running down your face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Y-You—" you choke while speaking. "You promised me—you promised me that you would fucking protect me!" You yell at him. The commotion draws the attention of your other roommate that rushes into the kitchen to check on you.

"What's going on?!" He asks alarmed, but you completely ignore him. Clenching your fists and jaw, you keep the words going, like Kuroo is responsible for everything that is going on in your life. Even though you know that's not true, you still pour your anger on him.

"You are not different than _him_ , you asshole! I fucking hate you! I should have never moved in with you!" You stomp away, grabbing your phone from the counter and going to the front door. Bokuto grabs you by your wrist, but you jerk your hand away and spit: "Don't fucking touch me!"

You put on some slippers and leave, slamming the door behind you. Voices are immediately heard in your apartment, but you don't stay around to listen and escape from the building and into the cold air of the night.

It's 10 p.m. and you have morning classes tomorrow, but here you are, running on the streets with nothing on but some large sweatpants and a large T-shirt. Your steps take you in the same park you've encountered Ushijima a few days ago. You collapse on a bench, elbows digging in your thighs, face buried in your palms and begin to cry. You didn't care if people were walking by and hearing you, even though there was barely anyone outside at this hour.

You are barely paying attention to your surroundings, too focused on your cries and on the chaos in your mind. _If only you had listened to the others... If only you had taken better care of yourself... If only, if only—_ Two large and calloused palms are placed over your own hands, pushing them away from your face, revealing your messy appearance. How comes that he appears every time you feel like shit?

"Why are you crying?" He speaks in his deep voice while being crouched down so he can be at eye-level with you. "Did you injure yourself?—" You let your emotions control you so you jump in his arms, head resting in his shoulder blade and you begin to cry harder, if possible. Ushijima has no idea what to do, so he just lets you calm down while his arms awkwardly wrap themselves around your small frame.

He always found it interesting that someone with such a huge presence as yours has such a tiny form. You're the only female that drew his attention, mostly because he looks up to you. That's why, at this moment, his chest hurts with an unfamiliar pain while you keep clinging onto him. Your cries come to halt and you tear yourself away from him, wiping your face with the back of your hand.

"S-Sorry, I—"

"It's okay. Come on, let's take you home. It's late and Bokuto and Kuroo must be worried—" He gets up, but you grab him by the wrist, looking at him with wide eyes. You are so broken and _it hurts_. It hurts both of you.

"N-No..." you whimper, "please, anywhere but there... don't take me home, _please,_ " you whisper with a strangled tone and Ushijima knows that you're about to cry again so he doesn't insist. Instead, he lifts you from the bench, his fingers intertwining with yours.

"Let's go to my place, it's getting cold and you're only wearing a T-shirt. You can stay there until you want me to take you home," Ushijima doesn't let go of you as he drags you in the direction of his home. 

Now that you finally look at him, he's under-dressed too, wearing a black top, shorts and running shoes. But despite that, he's whole body feels hot, especially his hand. You barely miss the red tips of his ears, but assume that it's due to the cold air of the night.

"There you are! You said that your jogging wouldn't take that much—" Tendou says as Ushijima opens the door, but immediately stops talking as he sees you: puffy eyes and red face, shivering. "My, my, what happened to you? Come in, you're shaking like crazy!"

You sit on their couch with a blanket wrapped tightly around you, while Ushijima goes to change his clothes and Tendou makes some hot tea for you. After they're back, you begin telling them everything: about your decision to quit volleyball, about the letter from the University and finally, about Kuroo pushing himself on you. You might have left out the parts about you having a crush on the olive-haired and your previous failed relationship. They don't ask questions or make further comments, just Tendou informs you that:

"You can spend the night here and leave in the morning. The couch is yours, (Name)-chan"

•••

You're lying awake, scrolling through your phone, ignoring the missed calls and messages from your roommates. You've only sent Bokuto a message, informing him that you won't be coming home tonight. But you can't still fall asleep, no matter how much you turn around, shifting your position. It's also really cold, but you assumed that it's because of the thin blanket. You sigh.

_Hopefully he's still awake._

You get up and head towards his door, knocking gently enough to be heard, but not to alarm Tendou and softly call out to him. You hear movement coming from inside and the door opens, revealing a sleepy Ushijima.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" You start regretting your decision. You're already troubling enough for staying over.

"No. Why aren't you sleeping?" _'Shit, his sleepy voice is hot, what the fuck—'_

"I-I can't. I still feel agitated about the whole thing a-and it's pretty cold"

"Come in. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were uncomfortable there. You can sleep here instead; I'll take the couch."

"No—uh... you can... stay too. I don't mind sharing the bed," you thank the lord for the lack of light since Ushijima isn't able to see your flustered face. Does he think that you're pervert now?

"Okay," he opens the door wider and you step inside. Soon, you're both in bed, back to back, but sharing his large blanket. Oh, this is _so_ awkward. You feel him move, probably adjusting his position before falling asleep. He's a big guy so having to share a bed might be something new to him.

"I've talked with the secretary. You can be our manager this year and return in the spring to your team," you flinch and turn around, finding him staring back at you with his olive eyes through long black lashes. The moon's light perfectly illuminates the shapes of his face: jaw, cheekbones, lips.

"H-How did you know?"

"Oikawa and I were passing by when you were talking with your captain. She then told us everything" _'Take me now'_

"But why? Why do you care—"

"Because you belong here. I've told already you that you are talented, strong and impressive. You have to believe more in yourself and in your abilities. It was not easy doing everything on your own, but what would you gain by completely dropping out of college?" 

It's silence, as you look up at the ceiling. Mostly because you don't know what to say, taken aback by his bluntness and honesty. It always surprises you. 

"Don't give up, (Name)," Ushijima barely whispers and you've come to realize that he was already asleep.

Classes and volleyball practice must be tiring him out. You've forgotten the feeling of passing out as soon as your body hits the bed after a long day of listening to boring people and hitting balls until your arms and legs give up. But it was what made you feel alive.

But when you woke up that day, **alone** , in an unknown hospital, you realized that you had to stop living like this. What was the point of continuing something that was no longer making you happy and only causing more damage to your body?

Initially, you wanted to finish college, even if you had to pay for it, but your team not visiting you, your ex, the weakness of your body, everything made you wanting to leave this city and to forget that you've ever been here.

But now, as the ace of Shiratorizawa lays asleep next to you, a soft expression on his face, you want to stay in this city as much as you can. For him, for your two roommates, for your juniors back at Karasuno, for your grandfather and brother...

As you're beginning to drift to sleep, you know that you won't return to playing, _but_ you're going to cherish all the moments you have left with your friends. You're going to make the most out of these next months. And who knows, maybe-maybe you'll let your heart love again.

You feel his arm wrapping around your body and pulling you closer, but you don't reject it, enjoying the warmth of his body and the smell of his shower gel. For the first time in many months, you feel at ease when going to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend who's a Kuroo fan hates me for writing this chapter. Sorry baby girl, but it has to be like that. I PROMISE that things would be solved in the next chapter.
> 
> I'm sorry for not updating last week, but I was caught up with paperwork for my college so I couldn't focus at all. Maybe I can update twice this week to make up for it. 
> 
> Chapters have been longer recently since I want to finish this story faster. I'm still debating if I should post my wip with Sakusa or the new one with Ushijima after I finish writing L.W. I'm slowly turning into an only-Ushijima writer and I'm kinda digging it, ngl. The thing is that idk if I should make them bigger than they already are, and for the one with Sakusa I don't have that many ideas so yeah. We shall see.


	11. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖊𝖑𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓

You wake up because of your ringing alarm. You are lucky to have set it last night before going into Ushijima's room... _Wait_ — You jump to grab your phone immediately, remembering where you are. You are alone in the big bed, but his scent and presence still linger there, wrapping around you like his arms did last night.

 _'What was that? And why didn't I push him away?! Oh God, he might think that I was the one that started cuddling with him'_. You get up, but before you leave, you look around the room, since you couldn't see anything last night. It's not big, as expected from a college student; besides the bed, Ushijima has a desk, a mini bookshelf and _of course,_ hand weights lying by the door. To be honest, you weren't expecting anything else from the stoic man.

As you step outside, you find Tendou already drinking his coffee while reading some school materials.

"Oh, good morning! I didn't know that we have another early bird in the house. Coffee?" You yawn, stretching your body and shake your head.

"I have to go back to change my clothes and grab my books so..." you take a sit at their table. "Ushijima left for school already?"

"He went out jogging," Tendou takes a sip from his coffee cup.

"And you wake up at the same time with him every day? The sun is barely out!" He puts the cup down and chuckles.

"Oh, no, no, no. I woke up to prepare something for our dear guest to eat, but then I remember that you have a strict diet. I couldn't fall back asleep though so I started to look over my classes," he flashes you a wide grin and you feel the same chills all over your body, like in the same way you did when you met him. "Speaking of our precious guest, when I woke up and didn't find you on the couch, I assumed that you left in the middle of the night. But my, oh my, when Wakatoshi-kun opened the door of his bedroom and I saw you there... Like, I always knew that Wakatoshi-kun is a quiet guy, but to be _that quiet_ when fu—"

"Stop, stop, stop!" You cover his mouth with your hands and then your red face, totally embarrassed about the position you were caught in. "It was cold! And I—uhm"

"I know, (Name)-chan. He told me," Tendou giggles at you. "But it's nice to see Wakatoshi-kun being so close to a person of the opposite gender. He's always so stiff around girls, we assumed that he was gay at first"

"That's kind of rude... So, is this what he can learn from me? How to be in a relationship with someone?"

"To be more open with the others. You might find it hard to believe, but he looks up to you. You're one year older than him, but you're already a star in the volleyball world. And if you return, I'm sure that the national team will recruit you," Tendou pauses and his smile fades away. He's now looking back at his notes and it seems like he's deeply troubled. "As his friend, I would say that he's like that to girls because he has no interest in something else besides volleyball," his voice drops a tone, "but as someone who's going to work with children, I can say that his coldness is due to the divorce of his parents"

Oh... You just stare at him dumbfounded. Is there an actually way to answer to this? He gets up before you have the chance to say anything.

"Wakatoshi-kun will be back soon. You can wait for him and leave together"

"No, it's okay—" The front door opens and a sweaty Ushijima removes his shoes before stepping inside.

"I'll go shower and change. Wait here," you nod and in less than 10 minutes you are out of the door as Tendou waves at you two before he closes and locks their apartment.

"I'm sorry," Ushijima says after a while of you just walking and not talking, "I didn't mean to grab you like that last night," your face is red again.

"N-No, I... I actually enjoyed it. You are a great person to cuddle with," you smile at him, both your hearts skipping a beat.

"Is that so? Thank you." _It wasn't necessary a compliment;_ a big person like Ushijima is basically a giant teddy bear.

When you reach the street of your building, you feel like you're about to throw up, but you swallow it back in. You knock on your door with a shaky hand since you've left your keys behind. Ushijima is right behind you; the silver-haired man opens it. He looks surprised to see you back so soon. But then immediately jumps in your arms, actually, cages you between his big ones.

"We were so worried! Do you know how worried I was? I wanted to go out and look for you, but then—"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" You push him away. "You're going to wake up the whole building, you loud bastard!" You sigh. God, you missed him. As you all get inside and shut the door behind you, another door opens in your apartment and the tall middle blocker is now in front of you. The first thing you notice is the mark of your palm, still there, but barely visible on his cheek. He looks dumbfounded and before you get a chance to say something, he bows almost at 90 degrees.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you last night!" He shouts. "I have no excuse for it a-and if-if you want to move out, that's totally understandable!" He doesn't rise up, waiting for your response. His eyes are looking down and they are red. You walk towards him, grab him by the shoulder and push him up. Your arms wrap themselves around his neck.

"You have been there for me when everyone else abandoned me. If it weren't for you two, I don't know what would have happened to me that day, so I owe you my life. Let's just put this behind us, okay? Forget that it ever happened and get back to our bickering," Kuroo doesn't trust his mouth to speak so he nods, returning the hug. Bokuto joins too as Ushijima stays behind and looks at you with a smile on his face.

After the moment ends, you wipe away the few tears from your eyes and turn to face the olive-haired athlete.

"I hope that the position for the manager of your team is still available," is his turn to be surprised. Your roommates are too. "I will pay with my own money for the rest of the year left and return to my hometown in spring. But before that, I want to do this one more thing"

Even though you're smiling at him, your heart is aching. All of the things you loved in this life ended up hurting you at one point. You know that being the manager, being so much around him, will hurt more when you leave Tokyo in the spring, but you still want to be closer to him, to volleyball. It is a double-edged-sword that's definitely going to scar you for life, especially since Ushijima will never be like your ex-boyfriend. _He can truly make you happy._

•••

You still don't understand what made you accept his proposal, maybe it was your worthless pride, maybe it was your barely-alive passion for the sport, but something told you to do it. Your job won't be that hard anyway; you will be helping the players and keeping record of their performances. After all, you had managers both in high-school and college, so you pretty much know what you have to do.

Oikawa was ecstatic when he heard about it, assumed that you would return to the team or had started dating _Ushiwaka_ , but he asked the wing spiker and was given a deep frown and a simple 'no'. So, then he had to ask you about it. You told him everything, this time not only you left out the part about your ex, but also the fact that you and Ushijima slept together.

"Things started piling up and before I knew it, I was about to explode again", you tell him, also mentioning that what Kuroo did was the breaking point. To say that he is surprised is an understatement. He was about to take a bite from his sandwich, but now his mouth hangs open and he blinks a few times, like he's reanalyzing your words.

"Are you sure about this?" The setter asks you.

"Yes. I won't return to playing volleyball anyway and I won't remain in Tokyo. I just need something to keep myself busy with," the innocent and unaffected expression is slowly cracking.

But **you** chose this. **You** have to accept the consequences. Every-time you played, even at practice, you ended up hurting yourself. There was always a new bruise on your body. And it was mostly because of your style of bumping into players.

Keishin will be _so_ mad at you; he'll probably stop talking to you for days, but you'll accept it. You'll carry your own cross without looking back.

The day went on so fast. You wanted your last class to go on forever because after it you have to head to the gym to meet your new 'team'. Are you starting to regret it this early? Maybe. You've changed your clothes in the locker room and are now standing in front of the gym door, waiting, but for nothing in particular. You exhale, gather up your courage and step inside.

It feels like you are star-struck as you watch the olive-haired ace jump to hit the ball tossed to him. His mid-air form makes it look like he's floating, giving him an advantage in the battles. The ball hits the ground on the other side with a powerful sound, bouncing off towards the ceiling.

By now, they have acknowledged your presence and have stopped playing. Ushijima turns towards you, face red with sweat dripping from the sides. His breathing is ragged, mouth slightly opened. Your knees almost go weak.

 _'Oh, I fucked up, big time'_ , you think as your heart is pounding in your chest. This is going to be much harder than you've imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so stupid, I wanna cry. I just managed to fuck up my entire planning for this story. The beginning part with the reader returning home wasn't planned, but I decided to write it anyway and then I made it too big.... But I did write about 40% of what I had to write in this chapter so congrats me. If I keep doing this, I'll reach more than 25 chapters istg.
> 
> I said that I wanted to finish L.W. by the end of July, but there are 10 days left and I have what, the other half left to write? I'm never writing something this big, never ever again.


	12. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖛𝖊

"I'm Ukai (Name) and I'll be your manager from now on. Nice to meet you and thank you for having me!" You bow down and the players gather around you to return the gesture. But holy shit, they are so tall! You were not the shortest player in your team, nor the tallest. But them... all of them must be at least over 185 cm. It feels like you are surrounded by trees, not by humans.

"I'm Arakan Kai, the captain. We'll be in your care now, Ukai-san" His voice is calm and his gaze is soft. _'Is he really the captain though? He must be either really respected by the rest **or** really scary when mad'_

" _Woah_ , when you said that she would be our manager, you weren't kidding," someone next to Ushijima says.

"Why would I joke about something like this?" The Shiratorizawa's former ace asks. Oikawa laughs.

"He doesn't understand how jokes work, Daisuke-kun"

"I do understand how jokes work"

"You do not"

"I do" "Do not" "I do" "Do—"

"Oh my God, shut up!" You snap at them. "I can barely handle your bickering when we eat together! _Enough_ "

"Well, it was his fault, he started it!" Oikawa tries to justify it, but you glare at him and he freezes. 

"Y-You three seem really close," Arakan says, rubbing the back of his neck. You must be terrifying if you managed to stop their bickering that quickly, that's what he thinks.

"We're from the same prefecture. Though we haven't met until the first day of college. Everything I've heard about them was from my juniors," Oikawa rolls his eyes and groans.

"There she goes again, talking about her juniors _like she was the one training them_ "

"Aw, are you still mad that they beat your sorry ass and went to the nationals, _Great King?_ "

"Eh? You are from Karasuno?" Someone asks you.

"Yeah, my older brother is their coach and so was my grandfather. Playing volleyball is more like a tradition in our family"

"Speaking of that, may I have a word with you, Ukai?" Their coach has now joined your conversation. He looks older than your former coach; he might be the same age as your grandfather.

"It's about me quitting volleyball and dropping out of college, right?" He opens wide his eyes.

"Yes... I can't understand why would you give up when you're so talented and gifted. Aren't you afraid of what's going to happen to your future?" He sounds pissed for a reason. Maybe because your university lost a few sponsors after your leave.

"I am afraid. I don't know what I am going to do after I return to Miyagi or how my family will react... but it's better than forcing myself to play a sport I'm no longer enjoying. I no longer have a reason to play volleyball"

"I won't try to change your mind, but think more about it. It's a shame to give up that easily"

"Yes, sir," you bow slightly, thanking for the advice.

"Then, let's get back to work. We have a practice match tomorrow"

The players return to their previous positions on the court. You look at them from the side, even though something deep inside begs you to join them. But you refuse to listen.

A few minutes later, a player comes to you in need of a tape job. You don't realize that a pair of olive eyes are watching you as you make small talk with the unknown man. He feels the urge to spike the ball in his head. He hates the way you smile at his teammate.

The boy, whose name you've found out is Rin, returns to the court, blowing you a kiss and winking. Normally, that would've made your heart skip a beat and consider finding out what more could his mouth do, but you just look back at him unfazed. You miss getting laid every night with random hotties from your University, _sure_ , but that's a part of an 'you' that you don't want to return to.

You had your fun in your first year of college, more or less, but nothing compares to how your heart throbs when your (color) orbs meet Ushijima's. What you feel right now is definitely love and it's killing you on the inside. He smiles at you in acknowledgement and you feel your face burning. 

Nobody misses this exchange, especially Oikawa that rolls his eyes really hard. You have to endure their bickering, but _he_ has to look at you two being so clueless with each other. 'Hurry up and get together already', he thinks.

Ushijima goes to the back of the court to serve and your eyes never leave his form. His jumping, the flex of his muscles, the swing of his arm, you absorb every detail. The ball is not received by the other side. This is nostalgic to you. It's like you are seeing one of Keishin's matches, but also your team trying to receive your left-handed spike.

You start to have an idea about how good everyone is.

Oikawa tosses the ball in Ushijima's part of the court, but doesn't call for the olive-haired man. And Ushijima doesn't run into the other to hit the ball himself.

 _Oh_...

That's the difference between the two of you. While Ushijima has power, he also has control over it. He's tamed and waits for his setter to use him. You instead, you were in the top only and only due to your raw power. Nobody has ever tried to hold you back. That's the difference between a great ace and a barely-above-the-ordinary one.

And this keeps repeating itself. Even though Ushijima is far more powerful than the majority of the players, he doesn't take the ball if it's not his.

_' **'I think that you two have something to learn from each other'**...so Ushijima can learn from me how to be more open with the others and I can learn from him to be a different type of player, is this what he meant back then?'_

Practice ends without anyone else needing something from you. Lucky or unlucky for you, Ushijima stays behind to help you clean up. He was on cleaning duty today and you wanted to get familiar with their gym. The team leaves the two of you alone.

As you pick up the balls from their serving training, Ushijima has already finished getting down the net and taking it to the storage room.

"Oh, if you are done, you can leave. I'll finish up the rest by myself"

"I'll wait. I don't have anything else to do"

"Oh... okay then, do as your wish," God, this is awkward. Before, you were each doing your tasks, but now he's quiet, watching you and you feel like you forgot how to move like a human being.

"(Name)," he calls you with no emotion in his voice. You stop what you're doing and turn to look at him.

"Yes?"

"I'll find you a reason to play volleyball again" _Huh?_ You drop the ball from your hand, letting it roll on the floor. You just stay there dumbfounded by his words. You can only say:

"W-What? W-Why?"

"It pains me to think that you're leaving. The talented players should be on the court, playing. You're not an ordinary player that could be easily replaced. You're their ace, their most valuable player"

"I... I don't know what to say... I was a mess back then—I still am! I don't know what I want to do and I'm afraid, so, so afraid of facing my brother and my grandfather. That being said..." you grab the ball that you dropped a few moments ago. "Seeing you play today inspired me somehow. You reminded me of when I used to go to all of my brother's matches when I was a kid. I was, what? Ten, eleven, I think, but I knew since that age that I wanted to be a professional volleyball player," you chuckle, putting the ball with the rest. "Well, look at me now"

"Why don't you actually want to return?" He, who couldn't read a person before, has come to understand you better than anyone else. He pays attention to every detail of your face when you talk. He knows when you're upset, when you're sad, just by the way you are speaking or avoiding eye contact. He realized, with Tendou's help, that there's more to it besides your team not visiting you in the hospital.

"I'm afraid of hurting myself again. Firstly, I hit my head and almost cracked it open. Then, I fainted and couldn't do shit for months. The next thing might be ten times worse. And I know I'm the only one to blame! I know that... That's why, I don't want to be in that position again..." you don't let the awkward silence settle in as you speak again. "I will think about it... if I should return or not. After all, all of you are nagging me and you're starting to become _really_ annoying. Just... give me time..."

"Okay," he says, nodding. You smile at him and return to finish cleaning up.

•••

"You know, I've noticed that you let us call you by your first name, but you don't call us by ours. Why?" Oikawa takes a bite from his sandwich after asking you. You are the closest with your roommates, but they are still 'Kuroo' and 'Bokuto', not 'Tetsuro' and 'Kotaro'.

"Oh, that? The name 'Ukai' is known all over Japan in the volleyball world. I didn't want people to assume that I'm here because of my name. Though, some still assume this. So, I'm (Name) for everyone"

"Hmmm," Oikawa hums. "Then call us by our first name too! We're best friends after all!"

"No, we're not," you deadpan.

"That's mean, (Name)-chan! Come on, nothing bad is going to happen! Call us by our first names!" You sigh. He's such a man child.

"Then, Toru and..." you face Ushijima. He looks like a child that awaits to be praised. He doesn't smile or anything, but his pupils are dilated more than the usual. "Wa-Wakatoshi"

 _'This was the worse idea I've ever had'_ , the setter thinks. Seeing you flustered and the tips of Ushijima's ear red too, he wants to die.

"Let's go, we have the practice match in twenty minutes," as he gets up, a devilish idea flashes through his mind. 

•••

You get home exhausted. You had a lot of work to do because of the practice match, passing bottles, helping with the tape job. Some players from the other college tried to get your number, but the team, mostly Oikawa and the captain, came to your rescue, requesting different things from you. Oikawa, intentionally or not, let a _'she's that guy's girlfriend by the way'_ to slip from his mouth while pointing at the left-handed spiker. 

Of course, Ushijima crushed them. Mostly because he was furious and low-key jealous, but you assumed that he was being challenged since his rivals made different comments about his performance during the game.

Also, let's not forget that you had to call the two by their given names the whole day. Oikawa promised to buy you (favorite dessert) after practice for the next two weeks if you do it. And every time you talked with Ushijima, he was there to listen, like he had an alarm. But seeing Ushijima speechless and you all flustered and awkward was worth it for the setter. _'Dirty bastard'._

You open the door of your apartment, sit down to remove your shoes and then lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling. You start to remember Ushijima's small smiles, the way his face lighted up when you called him by his first name. Your heart is going to burst out of your chest, judging by how fast is beating.

You cover your face with your arms and begin to cry. Summer is right around the corner and normally, you should have been crying because you were supposed to return home by this time, instead—

Hearing the front door opening, your roommates come to welcome you, but when they find you like this, they rush to your side.

"(Name), what's wrong?" Bokuto removes your hands and when you meet his worried face, you cry harder. "Hey, hey, easy now," they both scoop you up and wrap you in a hug.

"Tell us what happened, (Name). Did someone say something to you? Did **he** —"

"No, no! I'm just...Fuck! I'm—I'm crying because I'm in love with Ushijima and I don't know what to fucking do!" The boys look at each other, then hug you tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The practice match was not planned that's why it's so little detailed, ahahaha typical of me. I feel like Ushi is a bit ooc too... ughh idk why but I hate this chapter.
> 
> Ushi hasn't realized yet that he's in love with you, that's why he doesn't understand why he's so mad about others flirting with you. Don't worry, his best wing man will help him.
> 
> There was a chapter for Ushijima's birthday, supposed to be posted on his actual birthday, but I don't think I'll write it anymore since it feels like a filler at this point and I haven't really thought about it. I'll probably mention something about his birthday.
> 
> Anyway, do y'all still want 3 chapters of smut or nah? 👀


	13. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

It's been a few weeks since you've started helping the boys' team as a manager, the same amount of time that Ushijima has been on edge. His eyes are always on you. He sees you giving the others water bottles, smiling at them, taping their fingers and even laughing out loud at some weird lines the volleyball player can't understand. Hint: they are pick-up lines.

"Jealousy is a sickness, Ushiwaka-chan," Oikawa tells him one day.

"I don't understand what you mean by that," Ushijima answers. 'Is this how jealousy feels like?' You make him feel things he never felt before towards a person. **And he hates it.** He hates things that he can't understand, he hates how mushy inside he feels every time you look up at him after taping his fingers.

"Oh, really? That frown of yours says something else~," Oikawa grins widely at him. "Everyone here knows that you two have a thing for each other. But if you're not going to ask her out soon, someone else might," before Oikawa can finish rambling, you join them to hand them their water bottles.

And as you start making conversation with them, smiling and laughing with them, Ushijima feels his anger fading away and his heart lighter.

"I think I'm getting sick," he informs Tendou the next morning, after they finish eating breakfast together. Tendou is shocked. _Ushijima rarely gets sick._ He takes good care of his body. _  
_

"What? For real? Do you want to go and see a doctor?" Ushijima is quiet and then speaks up.

"Oikawa told me that jealousy is a sickness, but I don't know the symptoms for that," Tendou just blinks at him, absent minded. Then it hits him like a truck. He grins at his friend.

"Why did Tooru-kun said that? Are you feeling jealousy towards someone, Wakatoshi-kun?" He chuckles darkly. The big and strong Ushijima Wakatoshi _is in love._ And the red head is having the time of his life watching his friend being troubled by his feelings.

"I don't know. I just feel angry when (Name) speaks with my teammates and smiles at them"

"Oh? What else do you feel towards (Name)?" Ushijima's gaze is fixated down while he talks.

"My heart beats really fast when she's around. My palms get sweaty and I don't know what to say to her sometimes," Tendou hums and smiles wider. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Am I actually sick?" Tendou laughs loudly, slapping his own knee.

"Oh, Wakatoshi-kun, you're not sick! You are in love! With (Name)!" Ushijima's eyes are wide open for a few seconds, before he returns to his stoic expression.

"Hmm... I hate it," the other laughs even harder.

"Don't hate it, Wakatoshi-kun! Being in love is wonderful! You should tell (Name) as soon as possible!" The olive-haired frowns at his friend.

"I don't think she feels the same towards me"

"Well, think again 'cause she does! Now hurry up or you'll be late for classes. Tell her after practice and call me afterwards! I want to hear aaaaall the juicy details!" The middle blocker pushes his roommate towards their front door.

"What do I tell her?" Tendou looks up at him and sees, probably for the first time in their years of friendship, the slightly troubled expression of his friend. He gives him a reassuring smile and pats him gently on the back.

"Tell her how you feel, Wakatoshi-kun. Be honest with her. Oh, and make sure that you two are alone! This is how confessions work," Ushijima nods and opens their front door after putting on his shoes.

"See you tonight!" Tendou says and shuts the door. "From rejecting love letters because he's not interested in dating to actually want to confess to someone...Ah, you've really changed him, (Name)...." Now only if there was a way to make you stay... Would Wakatoshi's confession be enough to keep you in Tokyo?

•••

You weren't in class when he got there. He asked Oikawa, but the setter didn't know either. _'I think the principal called for her, but I'm not sure'_ , the brown-haired said.

He couldn't find you around the campus the whole day, it was like the ground had swallowed you up. You didn't eat lunch with them, nor answered the phone when they got worried and decided to call you. Oikawa called Bokuto and Kuroo too, but they had no idea of your whereabouts. You left for school this morning and everything was okay.

As Ushijima approaches the gym, he finds the whole team outside, gathered around the door. Oikawa is still at the lockers, getting changed.

"What's the matter?" He asks as he reaches them. His captain turns to him with a worried expression.

"Oh, thank God you're here, Wakatoshi! It's Ukai-san! She-She is really mad, throwing balls around the gym. We tried to stop her, but—"

"What happened to her?" **_This is bad._**

"Some girl came to talk to her and started mocking her for dropping from the Top three. She said that she didn't deserve to be there anyway since it's all about her name, not her skills," Ushijima feels like punching someone. He hears another ball hitting the floor and immediately rushes inside to stop you before you hurt yourself.

As he enters, he sees you jump to hit a serve; everything moves slowly around him

 _Wings_... he sees a pair of big wings on your back, but they are dragging you down.

You miss the ball. It was bound to happen, after all you haven't hit one in a year. Your shoes, obviously not made for playing volleyball, slip on the wood of the court. Ushijima catches you just in time, your back hitting his toned chest. He wraps his arms around your body, stopping your madness.

"Let go of me!" You wriggle in his arms, but his grip doesn't loosen.

"No," comes his answer. "You need to calm down, otherwise you'll injure yourself," you keep moving, trying to break free, but to no avail. You groan and curse.

"I knew that this would happen sooner or later. And I thought I had prepared myself mentally for this news already, but it still hurt hearing it. And then that _bitch_ came to rub it in my face, boasting about how she took my place, and she made everything worse..." By the way you speak, you are about to burst into tears.

"I'm a fool; I said that I'm done with volleyball, but here I am, managing your team. The truth is that I miss playing, I miss feeling the ball in my hands as I serve," Ushijima lets you go and spins you so you are facing him.

"Then return. Stop running away from the things that bring you joy. Prove to her who you really are, just how you've proven to me many times before"

You can't ask him what he means by that, as the team floods the gym.

"As much as it will hurt us to see you go, we want you to play volleyball again, Ukai-san," the captain tells you. "Many of us saw you that day and we were so amazed by you. When we heard that you would be our manager, we were sad because that meant that you gave up on volleyball"

"We love volleyball, and I'm sure that you do too!" A first year intervenes.

"And you took those boys to nationals just by telling Chibi-chan to stop closing his eyes. Don't you think that he'll be very sad when he hears that you are no longer playing?" Oikawa says.

"I..." you bow down in front of them. "I'm sorry for causing you trouble! A-And thank you for your words. I will do my best from now on!" You rise up and are met with their smiles.

"We need to find a new manager though. Daisuke, is your girl still available?"

"Dude, don't word it like that!"

"Why are you still here?" Everyone turns to the entrance to find the coach there. "Their practice didn't start long ago so hurry up and return to your actual team. I'm sure that they will be thrilled to hear the news"

"Yes, sir!" You bow to him, take your stuff, bow one more time and exit the gym, while waving at the players. Oikawa exhales, relieved.

"As much as I love (Name)-chan, your obliviousness towards each other was driving me insane. What's taking you guys so long to confess to each other?!" The setter says while they start putting together the net for practice.

"Wait, you two are not a couple?!"

•••

Ushijima unlocks and opens the door of his shared apartment and Tendou pops up immediately in front of him.

"What happened? Did you confess? What did (Name) say? And why didn't you call me?" Ushijima is unfazed by the amount of questions.

"The girl that took her place in the Top three came to make fun of her. (Name) decided to return to her team and she was still at practice when I finished so I couldn't confess," he drops his backpack next to the couch and sits down.

"Those are... half good news! But... you don't seem so happy about it, Wakatoshi-kun. Is it because you didn't get to tell her how you feel?" Tendou sits next to him, concerned about his friend.

"No," comes his short answer.

"Then?"

"I told her that I would find her a reason to play again, but she decided to return on her on. I didn't do anything for her," if the situation wasn't so serious, the red hair would've laughed at Ushijima's childishness.

"Hmm, you know what I think, Wakatoshi-kun? (Name) wouldn't have returned if it weren't for you. She would've accepted the situation as it is. But you've constantly reminded her that she's a good player so I think that it had a huge impact on her"

"You think so?"

"I know so. Come on, stop being sad, Wakatoshi-kun. Our summer vacation starts tomorrow! Let's go out and eat something good. What do you say?"

"Okay"

The merciless ace was back. Her wings are about to be spread out again to carry her again to the top. But there's a long way back there. _And her past is about to be revealed to the only person she never wanted to find out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha, YOU THOUGHT THAT I WAS DONE TORTURING THE READER? No, baby, you are in for another ride. Four more chapters (hopefully) until they get together, then we have 3 of smut and finally the grand finale!
> 
> After I finish writing it, I'll do so much editing to this story since some things don't make sense. A lot of ideas I got while writing so I need to change the first chapters a bit.


	14. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

After that day, everything changed in your life. Your plan of returning to Miyagi was now forgotten, thrown in the trash and set on fire.

**You will not be stripped of your pride like that.**

Now, there are good and bad parts about this situation. The good part is that you no longer have to try to focus on your job as a manager. For these past few weeks, you've only been paying attention to Shiratorizawa's ace, feeling your heart flutter every time he did anything on the court. There were times when balls hit you because you were spacing out, thinking about the flex of his muscles.

At the same time, not being that much around him will result in your feelings fading away... but since you're no longer leaving Tokyo, there is no need to reject how you feel anymore. Well, there's no way Ushijima feels the same about you, you think. He's too stupid to realize what a crush is.

_Never mind, there are only bad parts._

And the cherry on top of this situation is that right now, you are in front of the girls' gym, working up the courage to step inside and face them again. _'There's no going back',_ you tell yourself. You take a big breath of air, exhale, and enter.

Your coach is the first to notice you and he tells the girls to take a break. When they turn around and see you, your heart practically stops beating.

"If it's okay with you, I would like to return to the team," you swallow dryly. "I-if you haven't found someone already to replace me, of course!" Your voice is shaky, same as your fingers. You clench your fists to stop yourself.

"Nobody will be able to replace you, (Name)," Daitan tells you, smiling widely and throws a ball at you. You catch in and look down at it. Ah, it feels nostalgic, good... _right... it feels right_. You are back to where you belong to. You look up, finding your old teammates smiling at you and giving you thumbs up. There are new players; some of your senpai are gone too. Things did really change while you were gone.

But some things still stay the same: the smell in the gym, the roughness of the ball in your hands and—

"Ukai-saaaaan!" The libero of your team zooms from the court and jumps in your arms, forcing you to throw away the object from your hands to catch her. _And this_. "I'm sorry! I'm soo soorry!" She says between cries. "Daitan said that you were mad at us for not visiting you in the hospital, but your condition was really bad and we were afraid of worsening it by telling you that we lost all of our matches," you put her down, since your arms are about to give up.

"Don't worry about it," you pat her gently on the head. "It's all in the past. I should've come to talk to you instead of running away. So, let's put all these behind us and play some good volleyball, okay?"

"Loks who's using big words now," Daitan comments, grinning. "I've been trying to convince you to return for months and then you show up on your own. You're pissing me off, you know?"

"Oh, shut up, I know that you love me. And apparently you've missed me a lot since you've been trying 'for months' to bring me back," you grin back at her. She puffs on her nose and wraps you in a big hug. You don't need to say anything else to each other. Next year will be Daitan's last as a college student. Knowing that you'll be with her until the end, makes her worries disappear.

"So, how did Shiratorizawa's captain convince you? He was very... hmm... _affected_ by your decision of quitting" Her smirk is bigger than before. And don't even think about denying it, because she knows already. Or just assumes, based on your flustered face and quick reaction to 'deny the accusations'.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Wakatoshi, did nothing—"

"'Wakatoshi'? _Oohh_ , you're on a first name basis with him?" The vice-captain butts in. Their constant teasing wasn't something you've missed. (Lies).

"Ahem," the coach is here to stop the chaos before it unleashes. "I'm sure that there are a lot of things you want to talk about, but you girls can catch up with Ukai after finishing practice"

"W-We're sorry"

"Coach, there are some things I want to change about my style of playing," you inform him and he tells you to go on. "I want to be an only left-handed player. My serves are really powerful with my left hand, so I want the rest to be the same. I know that this is sudden, but I'm still not allowed in actual matches so I have enough time to practice. I want to become an ace that the team can depend on"

While they stare in shock at you, not being able to recognize the same reckless player from before, you are thinking about only one thing: _'Thank you, guys, for believing in me'_

•••

Soon after your summer break started, you began looking for a part-time job. 'Do not push yourself', that's what your doctor said, but you kind of needed the money. It was time for you to be independent and no longer depend on Bokuto or Kuroo. They said that it was okay, that you could stay with them as much as you wanted, but you refused, replaying that soon their younger friends would graduate high school and they would need a place to stay.

"You've done so much for me already and I will forever be grateful to you. But I need to get my life back together," as much as it hurt them, they respected your decision.

Lucky for you, Tendou found you something. He's currently working at a volleyball club for children. Because it's summer, more parents are bringing their kids to such place; another pair of hands to help is welcome. Especially since you are a player known in the whole country. The only downside is that the red head is always there, teasing you about your crush on his friend.

"And now we have to go back to the dormitories. Man, it's so hot outside," someone from the men's volleyball team complains.

"It's the basketball-heads fault! I can't believe they took our gym from us!" Another one joins.

"Now, now, let's try to understand them. Their tournament is starting soon and they need to practice more," the captain intervenes. "At least we got to play some volleyball without having the coach yelling at us"

They are at the public gym, having just finished playing a few sets with other volleyball enthusiasts, since their gym back at school was taken. Ushijima wants to check and see if you are here anymore, but remembers that Tendou was still home when he left, so that means that he's at work now and you're probably already home.

"How many more serves do you want me to hit?!" You grumble at the red-haired. Your shift ended some time ago and you just want to go home. Well, you have practice later today, but you are starving, smelling and you need a nap. Hearing your voice, the team peeks inside the large room to see you and Tendou, surrounded by a few children that watch you in awe.

"Just one more, please, (Name)-chan!" You groan and pick another ball from the cart. You return to the back of the court and throw the ball in the air. You follow it with your eyes, jump to reach it and to hit it, when Tendou says:

"If it was this easy to make you admit that you have a crush on Wakatoshi-kun," you miss the ball completely.

"I don't have a crush on Wakatoshi!" You yell at him.

"Then why were you all red the first time you came in our apartment and he was na—" You quickly rush to cover his filthy mouth.

"There are children here, can you not?" He sticks his tongue out at you. "Let's get over with this, I have to get home," he chuckles, amused, since you are all flustered again. You pick up another ball and this time, the serve is perfect: speed, contact point, not out of bounds. The ball flies high in the air.

"Woah! Amazing!" The little ones cheer. You smile proudly at the children and make your way towards the door. You don't walk much because your vision decides to fade. Two strong arms catch you and you immediately shot open your eyes.

"Oh, for the love of God, now I have hallucinations" Ushijima just looks at you blankly. _But inside he's actually dying to hug and even to kiss you._ He's starting to understand more about what means being in love with someone.

"I am here, (Name). You are not hallucinating"

"Oh, shit, really?"

"Really. Are you okay?" He lifts you up and Tendou and Oikawa come by your side to check up on you.

"Yeah, I just need to rest and eat. I've been moving around more than usual and my body is not used to it," you put your hands up in defense before they get to scold you. "I promise that I won't end up in the hospital again!"

"Woahh! That was an impressive serve, Ukai-san! No wonder you were in the top three!" Daisuke yells from the door and the whole team pops behind him.

"From how long have you been there?" You snap at them.

"Long enough to hear some interesting things," Oikawa teases you. You sigh.

"Do you want me to take you home? You don't look that well," Ushijima offers. And normally you would've declined, but it's been at least 2 weeks since you've last talked to him.... You saw him a few times while taking breaks from practice, but just waved at each other.

"Yeah, thank you. I'm going to go change"

"I'll wait for you outside"

You come out after a few minutes, bag slung across your shoulder and find just the ace outside.

"Where are the others?" You ask.

"They left already," he doesn't offer more than this so you start walking towards your apartment. No wanting to spend the whole time in silence, you decide to ask about his day and why they were here.

Ushijima has the perfect opportunity to confess to you. But he knows that you have a lot on your plate right now so he decides to post-pone it until you are completely free. Even if that means waiting until school starts again in September or even until your last year of college.

**Because when you love someone, you put their well-being above yours.**

That's what he learnt from one of Tendou's soap operas; he has been binge watching them lately to learn more.

As you turn the corner, you are met with a familiar face that sends shivers all over your body. Your heart jumps in your chest and you stop dead in your tracks. He looks just as you remember him: like your nightmare.

He notices you and makes his way towards you. Judging by his sly smirk, you know he's about to fuck up your life again, just as he did last time you saw him. Yami, your ex, hasn't brought anything good in your life, just stress, pain and _fear_.

Ushijima looks at you, then back at him and notices that something's wrong with you: it's the first time he sees that scared expression on your face. He has a bad feeling about this and can already say that he hates this guy. 


	15. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖎𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter ahead! Also, there are mentions of domestic abuse; if you are uncomfortable with this topic, please don't read.

Yami is walking towards you, grinning. His blue eyes are filled with bad intentions, you can tell just by how large his grin is.

He's going to chew you up like gum and spit you out when you no longer have flavor. After all, that's what you've always been to him: an object that he can use to satisfy his needs, throwing you away afterwards.

He still has the same stupid haircut: shaved everywhere, just the hair on top of his head is long, bleached and dyed teal blue.

"Well if it isn't my adorable (Name)!" He starts, "you look a whole lot better than the last time I saw you. What are you up to?"

You keep your remarks to yourself, holding back the urge to punch him in the face. You need to get away from him as soon as possible before he starts saying some things you don't want Ushijima to hear.

"Sorry, Yami, I would love to catch up, but I have practice and I need—"

"Oh? You've started playing volleyball again?" _Crap_. _Nononono—_ "Is jumping on dicks all day no longer your favorite activity?"

Your eyes are wide open. You can't do anything, you're just staring at him, watching as his eyes move from your figure to Ushijima's to check his reaction. Yami smirks.

You should calm down and leave as soon as possible and _yet_... You grab him by the collar of his shirt, bringing him down to your eye level. But he's not fazed, like he was expecting this to happen.

"My, my, are we finally standing up for ourselves? What happened to your protectors? They've got sick of you already?" His grin gets wider, if possible. It's a sick pleasure for him to tease you like this. You clench your fist, ready to settle the score once and for all.

But you can't bring yourself to actually finish what you've started. Hitting him back would prove that you're no better than him.

"Leave me alone and never come near me again," you let go of him and start walking away as fast as your legs can take you.

Your mind is filled with so many thoughts, that are coming and going at an incredible speed. He did it again: he ruined your life, and you stood there and _let him do it._

"That girl will break your heart, big boy. You should stay away from her," Yami tells Ushijima as he passes by him to go after you.

"You are the one that should stay away from her," the ace answers and starts jogging to catch up to you.

He doesn't fully understand what just happened, but he knows that he can't leave you alone in the state that you are right now.

"(Name), wait," he calls after you, but you don't stop. He reaches you and grabs you by the arm. Turning you around, he sees the same sad expression you had when he found you crying on the bench.

"Who was that and why did he say those things to you?" He asks, concerned, though his voice has no emotion. There are still so many things he doesn't know about you, _things that you want to keep hidden from him_ , but life just forces you to spill everything.

"Not here... Let's get home and I'll tell you everything, I promise"

"Okay," his hand slides into yours and he drags you closer to him. This is something he learnt from one of Tendo's shoujo manga. You look up at him with wide eyes, your face already red. "I'm here," he reassures you.

"Oh, umm... T-Thank you, Wakatoshi," Ushijima smiles at you and you begin walking. His palm is large and warm; it's been a while since you've held someone's hand like this, melting into their touch.

You look up at him, wanting to memorize everything about this moment. He asks you if something's wrong, but you tell him that everything is okay. _Everything is just perfect._

Practice and work are taking up all of your time and energy so a relationship is out of the question at the moment, but college will start soon, and your schedule will be freer. Then you will confess to him, you'll tell him what you feel. And hopefully, he'll return those feelings back.

Reaching your building and getting inside, you ask him if he wants something to drink, but he refuses. So, you get a glass of water for yourself and sit down with him on your couch. The awkward silence is back. Each of you is waiting for the other to open the subject. And knowing Ushijima, you realize that is has to be you. You drink all the water from the glass, since you're going to talk a lot, and turn to face him.

"So, what do you want to know?"

"Everything," _'Of course'._ You sigh.

"That guy is my ex-boyfriend. We started dating in my second year of high-school and decided to move in together in college. Nobody in my family knows about this, well, except Keishin. He had to bring me some things from home while I was in the hospital and found out. He didn't tell anyone and didn't scold me either," all this time you look at different spots in your room, avoiding to look him straight in the eyes. After you finish, you realize that it wasn't enough for him. This doesn't explain your outburst. Jerking your eyes away from him, you continue talking.

"We didn't have the best relationship in high-school, since we were from different schools. We were rarely seeing each other, we were fighting, I accused him of cheating a few times..." you sigh. "Things got worse when we moved in. We eventually broke up, but still lived together because none of us had the money to move out. That night, he brought over a girl just to spite me. Basically, making me understand that he could replace me with anyone, at any time. So, I did the same thing in return and made sure I was loud enough for him to hear me," you chuckle.

"I was so stupid back then. Things kept going like this for a while until we were both quite drunk one night and..." you trail off.

"And?" He asks. He was paying attention, absorbing every detail of your story.

"And we slept together. When we woke up and realized it, he proposed to get back together. But it didn't take us more than two weeks to fight again and break up a second time. And from here my life started going downhill. Yami became really rude to me, accused me of leaving a mess in the apartment... at one point he even threw something at me. I was trapped there and I couldn't tell anyone because I had no close friends. After getting out of the hospital, I decided that I need something better than this. The last time I saw him was when I picked up my things to move in with Bokuto and Kuroo," you get up to grab another glass of water as your throat is dry from all the talking; you feel Ushijima's eyes burning holes in your back.

"You are still hiding something," he tells you simply. You turn around to ask him what he means, but he cuts you off by continuing to speak. "Ever since I've met you, you always kept things hidden until something makes you uncover them. You didn't tell people what actually happened to you, that you are living with Bokuto and Kuroo, you didn't tell us that you quit volleyball and wanted to return to Miyagi. Your brother didn't know about your ex-boyfriend or about your fragile mental state," every accusation was a knife stabbing you in the heart. And the fact that he is up, walking towards you, is making your heart beating really fast. You back down until your back is digging into the counter.

"When you saw him, you made a strange face. I've never seen that expression from you. Furthermore, when you brought me and Oikawa here, you told us that your roommates graduated and that's why you moved in with Bokuto and Kuroo. But that was a lie, wasn't it?" You can't bring yourself to look up at him. You feel guilty, embarrassed, and can't believe that he actually remembers such a small detail. He lifts your head, grabbing you by the chin. "I don't want you to keep things hidden from me anymore. It pains me that you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth"

"That's not it! It's just... just..." Your head falls forward, hitting itself against his broad chest.

"You can tell me everything, (Name). I'm never going to judge you"

"I know, I know... It's hard for me to speak about what happened"

"Then don't tell me now. Take your time"

"No!" You yell at him, still keeping your eyes fixated on the ground. "I don't want you to believe that I don't trust you, Wakatoshi"

"I won't so don't force yourself"

The silence between the two of you covers the noises from outside due to the busy day of summer.

"He hit me. He slapped me, pulled my hair, even threatened to kill me if I told anyone about it," you lift your head and he encounters that sad and miserable expression again. And this time, it was because of him, because he forced you to—

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay, don't worry, I was the one that wanted to tell you. Besides Bokuto and Kuroo, nobody else knows about it. It feels good to talk and let it all out. So, yeah, I was hiding that he abused me," you move past him, grabbing him by the wrist and drag him to the couch. "Let's sit back down and I'll tell you anything, I promise. No more lies, no more secrets, okay?" He nods and believes you. This time you face him, holding your knees at your chest, with your arms wrapped around them. You take a big breath of air.

"Okay, so... You already know that I was going through shit back then with all the pressure from the team and Yami and I constantly fighting. By living together with him, I've come to realize that he never actually cared about me, I was just his personal fuck pet and when I stopped obeying, he got rid of me. It sucks coming home and instantly getting into an argument about why are _his_ dishes dirty or _his_ clothes not washed. And don't get me started on how shitty it was when I was bringing guys home. He was _the worse_ then"

Ushijima is quiet all this time, which is nothing new, but his silence is comforting; it means that he's paying attention to you and _only to you._

"Shit, I started rambling, sorry. Anyway, my brother met him when he went to my place. Yami introduced himself as my 'best friend', and told Keishin that he assumed I was at a friend's place because we had a big fight and that's why I didn't come home for a few days. He knew who my brother was and I think that he was afraid of him and that's why he lied. He visited me once or twice while I was still in coma. Now, you might ask yourself, why did I returned back to living with him, right?"

"Yeah. He seems like the worst person on Earth," you chuckle at Ushijima's remark.

"He actually is. The reason is that when I woke up, he came to see me and promised my brother that he will take care of me from now on, that there's no reason for me to return with him to Miyagi. He actually just needed help with the rent and I paid for half of it. He even asked me to get back together with him, told me that he'd be a better boyfriend. I didn't believe him, but I thought that it was worth giving it a shot. He actually took me to my therapy session and helped me move around our home. Everything seemed great, until one night, when he came home around 2 am really drunk. He started throwing objects around our apartment and when I got up and walked as best as I could to check up on him, he went mad. He... did all those things I mentioned before, fully knowing that I was too weak to defend myself. He insulted me, called me different names..."

You take another big breath of air. Sometimes, you can still feel that pain in your body, the numbness in your legs and arms... sometimes, you are afraid to go to sleep because he might come back and kill you, just like he said.

"You don't have to keep going, (Name). You look uncomfortable"

"No, no, no, I'm okay. I said that I'd tell you everything so I will. Let me finish," you shake your hands and head. _You can do this_. "I hit him in the head with a pot he knocked over and crawled to my room and locked the door. I called Bokuto since he was the first person in my recents and he and Kuroo got there just in time to stop him from tearing down my door. It was a mess. I spent the night at Bokuto's house and the next day I called my brother and told him everything. He wanted to come and get my ass right back to Miyagi, but Kuroo took my phone and discussed with him. They already had a place since they were about to graduate soon. I moved there first and from here," you shrug your shoulders, "you know the rest".

"They've always been by your side," Ushijima notes with a slightly angry tone.

"They used to visit me after school in the hospital. Apparently, Keishin told them to look after me since he didn't trust Yami. They were the first ones I've told that I'm quitting volleyball," you pause and look him in the eyes. "So, here you have it. The whole story"

"There's something I still don't understand," you gesture with your hand for him to go on. "It seems like you did nothing wrong to him, but he was always angry at you. Why?"

"Hmm... I asked myself this question too. I think that he was just jealous. I am, well, _was_ , a world-wide known player for Tokyo University, with a sports scholarship _too._ He applied for the university too, but was rejected so he got into a lower-graded college"

You get up and stretch your limbs.

"Practice starts soon so I have to go. Thank you for listening to me, Wakatoshi. It was nice, letting all of that out and having someone to listen to me"

"You can always tell me what's bothering you, (Name)," you smile at him, big and bright, "I'll walk you to the University, just in case"

"O-Oh, umm, thank you, let me take a quick shower and change first," suddenly, you open wide your eyes. "Wait, I have something to give to you before I leave!"

You rush to your room; Ushijima hears some rustling before you come out with a small box in your hand.

"Ummm... happy birthday!" You hand him the thing in your hands. He looks confused. "I know that your birthday is not today, but I start moving into my new apartment that day so I might not see you at all," Ushijima, just as awkward as you are, grabs the gift and reads the bold letters on it: 'G-Shock'. "Come on, open it and tell me what do you think of it"

He does as told and inside finds a watch.

"This looks expensive," is his first reaction.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't the cheapest thing, but I thought that you might like it. Tendou helped me pick it up"

"I like it. Thank you, (Name)," the smile he gives you makes you melt instantly.

"You're welcome"

_As they're basking into each other's company, there's only one thought in their minds: **'I want to tell you how I feel'**_


	16. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖎𝖝𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long one! Sorry 😅There's alcohol abuse in this chapter and mentioned BokuAka. Also, kind of E-rated towards the end??

Things are finally starting to look better in your life. Yesterday was your last day at the volleyball club and even though it broke your heart having to say good-bye to the children, you were also happy to be free. There is also a practice-match coming soon and you are excited to finally play for real. Not to mention that the collegiate volleyball league starts in December and that gets you even more pumped up.

Plus, you're living on your own now. It's true that you miss your two loud roommates, but they visit you almost daily because they are the ones that feel lonely without you so not much has changed. It's in the same neighborhood so you're still close to school.

College will restart in a few days so you've decided to finally take matters into your own hands and confess your feelings for Shiratorizawa's former captain. Getting to school earlier than needed, you want to catch him alone after his team finishes their practice.

So, here you are, walking towards their gym, with a fast-beating heart, shaky legs and sweaty palms. _  
_

_Totally not stressed at all._

_'Calm down'_ , you tell yourself. There are so many signs that he likes you back. Things will go well, he's not Yami, he'll treat you good. **There's no need to hesitate**.

Reaching the building, you can already see him standing outside, looking down at something. As you get closer, you realize that there's a person in front of him, a girl. She's so short compared to him, you actually didn't see her the first time as a bush was hiding her. She's looking down and her cheeks are red. She's rubbing her arm in an awkward way.

_Oh... She's confessing to him..._

You get closer enough to hear him say:

"I don't know who you are. I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment. I'm sorry," his tone is not guilty. Just cold and emotionless. She says that it's okay, thanks him for listening to her and dashes out of there in a second. Ushijima turns around and finds you there with a blank expression on your face.

"For how long have you been there?" You give him a grin, but there is so much pain behind it.

"Enough to hear everything. Why did you refuse her, she was really cute"

"She told me how she felt and I returned the gesture"

"Oh, I see, hahaha..." The atmosphere feels heavy.

"(Name), there is something I've wanted to tell you—"

"Shit! Hahaha, I forgot my other T-shirt at home, I need to go back and get it. Uh, sorry, Wakatoshi, let's talk another time, okay?" You turn on your heels and straight up run from there, not giving him a chance to give you an answer.

You feel stupid for thinking that you had a chance with Ushijima Wakatoshi. It was obvious, you should've realized it from the start: he will never date you because he doesn't care about anything else other than volleyball. He was nice to you because that's what a _good friend_ does. To him, you're just a person that likes the sport as much as he does.

All these thoughts are poisoning your mind, while tears fall down your face.

_'Idiot, idiot, idiot. That's what I am. A big fucking idiot for believing that I had a chance with him. From the beginning he stated that he was not looking for a relationship!'_

The rest of the day was simply awful. You went home, washed your face and then came back to school, hoping that you wouldn't encountered him again. You didn't, and that made you somehow sad, but you brushed it away. At practice, the coach saw that you weren't in a good mood and sent you home earlier since he didn't want you to injure yourself.

You are sitting on your bed, face buried in your pillows; you're still thinking about how cold his words were towards that girl. If he had said the same things to you, you would have probably cried. You're interrupted from your mourning by your doorbell ringing, not once, but _five fucking times_. You instantly realize who is, better said, _are_ ,at your front door.

When you open it, Bokuto and Kuroo see your puffy eyes and red face. You bring them inside, since you didn't want the whole floor to hear you sobbing as you tell them what happened.

"You didn't confess to him?!" Bokuto asks.

"No, of course not! What part of 'not looking for a relationship at the moment' you didn't understand?!" You snap back at him.

"But you should've at least let him finish what he wanted to say!" Kuroo speaks up.

"It was probably something about volleyball, since that's the only thing he cares about apparently!"

Bokuto and Kuroo look at each other. The black-haired one sighs in defeat.

"Look, I know that you are feeling like shit right now, but sitting here all day won't do you good. Let's go out somewhere"

"Where?" You ask. It's been a while since you've actually gone out so the invitation doesn't seem so bad.

"You'll see. Go on and make yourself beautiful, we'll wait here for you"

You take a shower and go back into your room to change and get ready. You put on makeup too: foundation, blush, brows, small winged liner and lip gloss. As for outfit, you pick out your favorite. You've have been wearing only shorts and T-shirts for the last weeks, too tired to put on either a skirt or a dress, but nothing was stopping you now. You wanted to look and feel good.

You are not going to let a man, _no matter how much you want to kiss his stupid face_ , to bring you down. You are going to enjoy yourself for tonight, forget that today ever happened and worry tomorrow about what should you do next.

You get out of your room an hour later, glowing. You are still sad, but having some time for yourself actually helped you a lot. Kuroo whistles, while Bokuto claps furiously. They truly are the best best-friends you could've asked for.

"So, are we leaving?" You ask, checking your purse/backpack one more time to see if you have everything.

"Not yet. There are still three people that need to get here"

"Who?" You ask and the smirk that both give you is dangerous.

"Well, you remember Semi Eita, right?"

"He was from Shiratorizawa? I think Tendou mentioned him once"

"Right. He's in a band and they have a concert at a bar tonight. Remember? Tendou invited us"

"Oh, shit, that's today?! Wait, Wakatoshi's coming too?"

"Duh. They were teammates after all," your eyes are wide open and your mouth is hanging open. The desperation on your face can easily be read.

"Oh, you fucking planned it, didn't you, stupid rooster head!" You yell at him.

"Hey! Why am I the only one that gets insulted?"

"Nope! No way! I'm not going anywhere! I can't face him so soon after what happened!"

"Well, that's too bad, because—" you hear your doorbell ringing. Kuroo grins. "They're already here"

Bokuto goes to open the door, while you're glaring at Kuroo, plotting his murder.

"Huh, Oikawa's not with you?" You hear the silver-haired asking.

"His Iwa-chan is here to visit him so they might arrive later or never at all. What about your boyfriend, Bokuto-kun?" Tendou answers as they get inside.

"Akaashi is pretty busy so he said that he couldn't make it tonight"

"Well he's a captain now after all," Kuroo goes to the front door to meet the guests after wiggling his eyebrows at you and flashing you a wide smirk.

"Yo, looking good, Tendou! Hoping to pick up someone tonight?" You hear the red-haired laughing.

"Maybe if I'm lucky enough. So, where's our lovely ace? (Name)-chan, are you ready?" You take a deep breath, knowing that if you don't come out, Bokuto and Kuroo will come to get you _and_ if you refuse to cooperate, they'll pick you up and drag your ass outside. You take your purse/backpack and go to meet them at the front door.

Immediately, your eyes lock with Ushijima's and you're just staring at each other for what feels like ages. He's wearing a plain white T-shirt, black ripped jeans that have a chain attached to them, and full-white sneakers. On his right hand he has the watch you got him. He looks nothing like his usual self, which makes you think that Tendou was the one that dressed him up like this.

And you... you are stunning. Shiratorizawa's ace can't take his eyes off of you, as he has never seen you all dolled up like this. He wants to tell you that you are beautiful, but Tendou hurries you all to leave already.

"Who's driving?" Kuroo asks as you are walking down the stairs of the building.

"Me," Ushijima answers.

"Oh, I didn't know that you have a driving license"

"I got it after the Interhigh finals," comes his short explanation. And the car ride was awkward as fuck, especially since they put you in the front seat, because you are 'the oldest one'. Those were the longest fifteen minutes of your life.

The place is already pretty packed as you get inside. There are so many girls. Well, that's expected from a male band. There's also something here that can make this night easier to endure: **alcohol**.

The first band walks on the stage. Semi's band is the next one so as they start singing you manage to escape from under the eyes of your companions and go straight to the bar. They don't realize that you are gone until the first song ends.

"Where's (Name)-chan?" Tendou asks. "She was just right behind me"

"Oh, shit!" Kuroo groans. "Let's split up and go look for her. I have a bad feeling about this"

Walking through the crowd is hard and their search ends up with no results. They meet up again next to the bathrooms, but Ushijima doesn't join them.

He finds you, at the bar, a glass already empty in front of you—probably not the first one—talking to someone. He can't see the person, but you look like you are not enjoying their company. Passing through another wave of people, he finally makes it to the bar and what he finds doesn't please him. **It makes his blood boil.**

"I've told you to stay away from me, Yami," you speak, spitting venom in his way. Even drunk, you know that he's dangerous.

"Don't be so cold to me, hun. Remember our good days together"

"What are you doing here?" Comes Ushijima's harsh tone towards your ex-boyfriend.

"Oh~ look who's here, the knight in shining armor! Hello! He likes following you around, (Name)," you don't answer. Normally, you would've cared that Ushijima sees you in such a pathetic way, but screw him. The amount of alcohol that is—in an exaggerate quantity—in your system is making you give no fucks about anything anymore.

"You can return to the others, **Ushijima** ," the use of his family name again feels weird to him, especially due to the pissed manner it rolled out of your tongue.

"You heard her, kid. Go away," Yami puts his hand on your leg, smoothly rubbing you. "How about we go and have some real fun, love?" Instantly, Ushijima grabs him by the collar of his shirt.

"Don't touch her"

"Or what? What are you going to do? Punch me? You're a volleyball player, not a—" Ushijima swings his other fist in the air and pistons it towards his face. But it doesn't make contact. Yami shots open his eyes, having closed them by instinct and meets the harsh frown of the volleyball player. He feels all of his hair standing up.

"Do not underestimate me. Leave," Yami escapes from his grasps and instantly disappears into the crow. He then turns towards you and lifts you from the chair by dragging you by the wrist.

"You are intoxicated. I am taking you home, let's go"

"No," you answer back. "Go play some volleyball since apparently that's the only thing you care about"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Go fuck yourself, Ushijima Wakatoshi—HEY!" Ushijima apparently has had enough of your useless talking so he picks you up from the ground and throws you over his shoulder. You want to protest and yell at him to put you down, but the alcohol in your body, plus hanging like this is making you really dizzy.

Ushijima takes you outside where the other three are apparently waiting for the two of you.

"Holy shit, is she okay?" Kuroo asks. He goes around Ushijima to check up on you, but you are completely passed out.

"I am taking her home. Tell Semi that I'm sorry for not staying to watch his concert"

"It's okay, man, I think that he will understand," Tendou reassures him. Better said: 'I think that the whole team will be thrilled to hear about this girl'.

When you open your eyes, you find yourself looking up at the ceiling. You feel someone touching your legs so you lift yourself up really fast, only to find Ushijima removing your shoes.

"W...What?"

"You passed out and I took you home. I'll get you in bed and leave afterwards"

"You don't have to, I got it," after he's done removing your shoes, he looks up at you.

"Did I do something to upset you? You seem mad at me and I don't know why," you groan and lay back down. Ushijima discharges his own footwear and picks you up from the floor in bridal style, taking you to your bedroom.

"You can leave now. Good night," you shoo him away with your hand after he places you down in your bed.

"No. Your makeup needs to be removed and you still have not answered my question," you groan again at his persistence and roll around in bed, hoping that he'll leave if you ignore him. But he doesn't. You sigh out loud and roll back to look at him. He's squatting next to your bed, resembling a dog waiting for commands.

"Bathroom. Look into the small cabinet. There's a bottle that has 'micellar water' written on it and next to it are cotton pads,' Ushijima gets up and comes back seconds later with what you asked him to bring you. You get up, standing on your butt on the bed.

"How do I do this?" He asks and you give him instructions.

"Mhh, feels good~" you say in a not so innocent tone. Ushijima flinches for a second, but continues wiping your face. After he he's done, he throws the used cotton pads in your trash can. "If you like pampering me that much, why not help me get changed too?"

The alcohol has completely taken over you. Your actions are no longer dictated by your brain, but by pure instincts and **_urges_**.

"Don't make that face, Wa-ka-to-shi, you've never seen a woman naked before?" You tease, but he is not stupid enough to fall for it. Even though your question and the smirk on your face make him feel tingly in a special area.

"Why did you run away like that?" You roll your eyes and fall back on the bed.

"Because I wanted to confess to you, duh," Ushijima opens wide his eyes. Is it the alcohol talking or your actual true feelings? "But you said that you were not interested in a relationship so I panicked," you get up, holding your finger in the air and pointing accusatory at him. "It's your fault for being so nice to me. You made me fall in love with you, jackass" your funny tone makes the situation ten times funnier and Ushijima just smiles.

"Well, I'll get over it, mister 'volleyball is my only love'. I've been in love before. But... since we're here all alone," you lick your lips in a seductive way, eyeing him like an animal eyes his prey, "I really want to get fucked by you"

You grab the hem of your shirt with both hands and lift it up, throwing it on the floor. You want to get up and to walk towards him, but Ushijima throws you back in the bed, pinning you down and looming over you. You want to make another teasing remark, but he pulls the duvet from your bed all the way up to your neck. He then wraps you in his arms, letting you rest on his chest.

"Sleep," it's all that he says to you. You try to struggle to escape, but give up, your body too weak to put up a fight with his tight grip. He reaches with one hand the light switch next to your bed and turns off the light.

"Boo, mood killer"

Ushijima slowly frees you after he makes sure that you are asleep. He looks at you one more time, and then covers his whole face with one hand. Both are burning hot.

If you weren't this drunk, you probably would've noticed how red his face and ears were while he was on top of you. His heart was beating really fast while he was holding you and he was _and still is_ hard. **This is going to be a long night for him.**


	17. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

You wake up with a hammering headache. Do you have practice today? You don't know and you don't care. There's no way in hell you are getting out of bed too soon. Everything in your body hurts. You roll around, as the sun coming through your window is making your tired eyes hurt.

Peace and quiet settle in your own little apartment. Until you hear loud noises coming from your kitchen. Your brush it off at first, thinking that _'it's just Bokuto or Kuroo'_ , but then you stand up immediately, remembering that _'I live alone!'_

You get up from the bed, even though your head is killing you. Did you left your front door open last night? Wait, how did you get home in the first place? You remember drinking your sorrows at the bar and then Yami came... Oh, fuck... Oh, God, please no...

You look down at yourself, finding a T-shirt that's way too big to be yours covering you. You notice that you still have your bra on, and your underwear too. Bringing the material to your nose, you smell the only scent that makes you feel at ease and your heart skips a beat. ' _It's Wakatoshi's'._

You remember vaguely that Ushijima took you home, helped you removed your makeup and then... and then what? What caused you to remove your own shirt? Embarrassment starts building up in your chest. And if the person that is in your apartment is none other than the man in question, you prefer throwing yourself out of the window than facing him.

You tip-toe to your bedroom's door, open it gently not to alarm them, and in the same manner you make your way to the kitchen. And there he is, back turned to you, working your stove. The smell of fresh cooked food invades your nose and it makes your stomach growl. You decide that it's better to go back in bed, pretend to still be sleeping and then come out to eat after he leaves.

"I know that you are awake," you swear that his baritone voice makes the walls tremble. Being caught, you have no choice but to come out and face him once and for all. You need to put an end to this anyway. "Sit down, lunch will be ready soon," he informs you.

"Wait, lunch? What time is it?" You look at the clock on your wall. One in the afternoon. "Why did you let me sleep so much?!" You ask, though it's not his fault.

"You looked like you needed some rest," he turns off the stove and sets the food in front of you. All this time, he has not even once looked at you. It makes you wonder if you said something weird to him last night. You notice that he also has different clothes on.

"You are not going to eat?" You ask, as he sits down across from you.

"No, I ate before coming here. I have read that eggs and tea are really good for curing a hangover so make sure to finish all of that," of course, he has to be fucking perfect. And that makes you fall for him even more. You eat in silence, _in an awkward silence_. Ushijima texts someone as you can hear the sound of his keyboard and then gets up to start washing the dishes. You finish your meal quickly and wait for him to say something, but he doesn't. So, once again, you are the one that has to break the ice.

"Did I... say something to you last night?"

"What do you mean?" He takes your plate and washes it and then puts it in the drier. You wrap your hands around your tea cup, looking at your reflection in the warm liquid.

"You seem tense and-and I'm wearing your T-shirt for some reason. I don't remember much from last night so..." you trail off. He sits back at the table, but this time, he takes the chair next to you.

"You said a lot of things last night," he states simply.

"Oh, God... I will regret asking this, but can you please tell me?" He nods.

To the embarrassing moments that are about to be described, cheers!

"I went to look for you and found you at the bar. Your former boyfriend was there with you. You were also mad at me for some reason and even told me to go fuck myself. He started touching you so I almost hit him and then took you out from there"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on! I said what?! And you did what?!"

"You called me by my family name and told me to go fuck myself. As for hitting him, my hand would've hurt afterwards so I decided not to do it. Do you want me to keep going?" Your curiosity gets the best out of you and you're pretty sure that what's coming next is ten times worse.

"Yes, please. I remember that you took me home and helped me remove my makeup and that's pretty much it"

"I asked you why you ran away yesterday and you... told me that you wanted to confess to me" Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, God. _Now you've done it._

"And then...?" You are pretty sure that no matter how hard you are praying to God for that to be the last stupid thing you did last night, there's more to come.

"You said that you were going to get over it eventually," he pauses for a second and you notice the tips of his ear being really red. "Then you removed your shirt and said that you want to have sex with me," you cover your face with your hands. Your face feels hot and you're pretty sure you are as red as a tomato. This is worse than the worst you've imagined.

"We-We didn't do anything, did we?"

"No"

"W-Why?" You find yourself asking. Ushijima had you in the palm of his hand, he could've done what he wanted with you. Is this the ultimate form of rejection? He cares so little about you that he won't even—

"Because I knew that you would regret it in the morning. I am not like your former boyfriend, (Name.) I will not take advantage of you when you can't make decisions for yourself or use my strength against you. I am not this type of man"

"T-Thanks," you get up, no longer bearing to sit next to him. "Y-You can go home, I'll go back to sleep," he grabs you by the wrist. His palm is sweaty and burning hot.

"Wait, I want to ask you something," you already know what he wants, and yet you can't pull your arm out of his grip. You answer back with a shy 'yes'. "When people are drunk, they say what they actually feel. Were you really going to confess yesterday?" You just nod, not bearing to turn around and look at him.

"I already know that you are not interested in a relationship at the moment so let go," finally, you jerk your hand away, only for Ushijima to get up, spin you around and pin you against the wall. His whole face is red and he has a determined look in his eyes.

"You ran away yesterday and you want to run away this time too. Why do you not want to listen to what I have to say as well?"

"Because I know that you don't feel the same as I do!" You yell at him, trying to keep the tears in.

"I do, (Name). This is what I wanted to tell you yesterday"

"You are just saying it to make me feel better," you bow your head. Your heart is beating so fast it hurts. He lifts you by the chin with his index finger.

"Do you think that I am this type of man, (Name)?"

"Then w-why did you say those things to that girl?"

"Because I do not know how to be in a relationship with someone," You shot your eyes wide open. "My parents' relationship was not the best example I had as a child. They fought a lot and eventually got divorced. I was always afraid of ending up like them so I rejected every confession I have ever received," hearing Ushijima being so open about his past, _about his feelings_ , takes you by surprise. "But you changed all of that for me, (Name)"

"H-How? I'm not that amazing—"

"You are, both on the court and outside of it. You bring people together and make them feel at ease around you. The others look up at you and admire you, they want to be noticed by now. And I do too," he takes your hand and places it on his chest. You can feel the pounding of his heart under your touch. "This is what you do to me, (Name)," he leans in more, your lips almost touching.

****"I am in love with you. Please go out with me"** **

He presses his lips on yours, kissing you gently and slowly. It feels magical and life-changing, like it's your first kiss again. You wonder if that's the case for Ushijima, as he is kind of clumsy at it. His lips are soft and big and he tastes like mint chocolate.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to die," you whisper against his lips and you feel him smiling. Ushijima pulls you closer by grabbing your hips and you throw your hands over his shoulders. You decide to help him out and lead.

The kiss gets more heated than needed to be, as you let his tongue slip into your mouth to dance with yours. You grab him by his hair, kissing him harder and he responds by picking you up and holding you against the wall. You moan into the kiss, feeling his fingers digging into your hips. You were too drunk last night to notice, but he picks you up like you mean nothing to him and that scares but also excites you.

You start feeling dizzy, but there's no way you are letting go of his meaty lips after all this time of pinning over him. You can tell that the lack of oxygen is affecting him too, as you are both sliding down the wall, but none of you breaks the kiss. As you reach the floor, you wrap your legs around his waist to bring him closer, your hands diving under his T-shirt. His body feels hot all over.

Ushijima suddenly pulls away, and you remain there, dumbfounded. The redness is spread all over his face and neck.

"What's wrong?" He doesn't answer so you look down and find the source of the problem. ****He's hard.**** You can see the outline of it clearly through his sweatpants and... _He's not average_...

"It's okay. Stuff like that tends to happen when you get too excited. How do you take care of it?"

"I don't," it's his answer.

"You don't touch yourself?!"

"Sometimes, if it does not go away quickly. But I am too tired most days"

You crawl towards him, setting yourself between his legs.

"Then how about we go and take care of it?" You whisper in his ear. "Finish what we've started yesterday. I was serious about that part too"

You hope and dreams are shattered by the annoying doorbell that rings not once, but five times like the usual. You groan.

"Why are they here?" You ask Ushijima.

"They wanted to check up on you," you roll your eyes and get up to welcome in your _lovely_ guests. You open the door and Kuroo grins back at you.

"Oya oya, someone looks mad. Did we interrupt something?" He asks in a sing-song tone as he sees your swollen lips and flustered face.

"In fact, you did!"

"Oh? Well, too bad for you! We're here to celebrate that you two knuckle heads finally got together!"

" _If_ they got together!" Comes Oikawa's sharp tongue.

"Well, did you?" Asks the black-haired.

"We did..." your turn back to look at Ushijima. "Did we?"

"You didn't give me an answer," he exposes you.

"Oh God, why am I here?" Complains Oikawa.

"Come on, (Name), give the man an answer" teases Bokuto. _So, what's stopping you from throwing them out?_ You give them dirty looks and face Ushijima again, but you look down at the floor.

"Y-Yes, I would like to go out with you, Wakatoshi," when you look up, you find him smiling at you with the sweetest smile you've ever seen from him.

"Wohooo!" They start clapping and whistling.

"Pay up, bitch!" Tendou yells and points at Oikawa. You roll your eyes.

You need better friends. But you wouldn't change the ones that you already have.

Since tomorrow is the last day of break, they all decided to camp at your place tonight, giving you and Ushijima the privilege of sleeping together. But both of you are too tired and too embarrassed to actually do something so you agree on cuddling and sleeping.

Ushijima is holding you in his arms, just like he did at his place, just like he did yesterday, but everything is different this time. This time you are his, and his only.

"Hey," you suddenly speak up.

"What is it?"

"I realized that I didn't say it before we got interrupted, but," you wiggle out of his grasp, wanting to see his face as you say, "I love you, Wakatoshi"

He smiles and pecks you on the lips.

"I love you too, (Name)"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AFTER 17 CHAPTERS, THEY GOT TOGETHER WOOOOOO  
> The main story has one more chapter left, but I promised smut so I will deliver smut
> 
> The next three, yes, THREE chapters will be that so if you are a minor.... well, I can't stop you from reading them, but please do so at your own discretion.
> 
> I hope that Ushijima wasn't too ooc, because I kind of projected myself onto him a bit 


	18. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖊𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha, I have no shame and neither do you for reading this. NSFW content ahead

Being both busy with University and volleyball practice, you barely had time for each other. You were together when eating lunch, stealing a kiss or two, or making out in front of your building in his car before he dropped you home.

But, after weeks of trying, your schedules finally aligned. Neither of you has practice today and Tendou's out with some friends so it is the perfect occasion to spend some quality time with your boyfriend. You are currently sitting with him on the couch, a blanket covering the two of you while you watch some random movie on TV.

"Okay, I'm bored, this movie sucks," you announce nonchalantly. Ushijima turns off the device and places the remote back on the table.

"What do you want to do instead?" He rubs your face with his thumb and you melt in his touch.

"I don't know," you whine, "the weather is really shitty outside and there's nothing good on TV. What do you to do?"

"As long as I am with you, I am okay. You are not boring and I enjoy your company," you roll your eyes and smack him playfully in the shoulder.

"Oh, you. Aren't I a little too perfect?"

"You are perfect for me, (Name). Nobody has understood me the way you do—" before he can go on and actually make you cry, you stop him by kissing him.

"Let's not get emotional now"

"That was cheating," he speaks with a stoic voice, but the playfulness in his eyes says something else.

"Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do about it?" You grin at him, but immediately regret your words as Ushijima scoops you up and places you in his lap.

His lips are instantly on yours, kissing you slow, but hot and passionate. It is not rushed; you have all day for yourself. Your arms go behind his head, pulling him deeper in the kiss. He groans and in response bites your lower lip, making you moan in his mouth. You feel him smirking against your lips and he bites you again, getting the same reaction.

As you squirm in his lap, you brush past his erection. His breath hitches at the contact and it's your turn to smile. You start grinding your hips against his hard-on. Ushijima breaks the kiss, muttering a _'shit'_ under his breath. He captures your lips again and you continue to move your hips.

He bucks his hips, rubbing against your clothed clit and you whimper. Parting away, you stop your actions and look him straight in the eyes. He frowns and you giggle at his reaction.

"Hey," you start, playing with the hair falling over his back under-cut. "Can I suck you off?" His eyes widen for a second, but then he returns to his neutral expression.

"Are you sure?" You chuckle darkly at his question. Ushijima Wakatoshi is about to find out that you're not only good at volleyball. And the fact that you are left-handed isn't the only special ability of your body.

"Yes, I am sure, Wakatoshi. I've wanted to do this for quite some time actually," you climb off his lap, kneeling on the floor. You are now eye level with his erection that's bursting through his sweatpants. You look up at him with big eyes.

"Can I?" You ask with a begging face, like you would die if you don't get his cock down your throat, and he can't deny you.

Your relationship evolved at a normal pace during these few months; you took things slowly with Ushijima, aware that he has no dating experience and that he is a certified virgin. But at the same time, he never held back when making out with you around his apartment or yours.

He nods and you smile brightly at him. You hook your fingers in the elastic of his sweatpants and pull them down, together with his boxer. They pool at his ankles and now his cock springs free from the confines of his clothes.

You always knew that he would be well-endowed by how big he is himself, but he's clearly larger than you've expected. You've taken guys that were almost his size, but none this thick _and_ long. And this sudden realization turns you on even more, as you know that he'll be deeper inside you than anyone else before him.

You spare Ushijima one more glance, noticing that he looks down at you with curios olive eyes and then you get closer to finally touch his throbbing cock.

You place soft kisses on the tip that's glistering with precum and it jolts at the contact. You smirk and continue after gliding your tongue over your lips. It's been such a long time, you've almost forgot how to pleasure a man. Almost. You dive down to the base of his cock.

You give his cock a full lick, all the way from the base to its red head. Ushijima jumps at the touch. His face is all flustered from embarrassment, but he can't take his eyes off of you. He rarely gets aroused by something, but having you between his legs, licking his cock like that makes him feel hot and like he's about to explode.

You're trying to make this an enjoyable and unforgettable moment for him, as it is the first time someone is giving him a blowjob. Usually, virgins believe that sex is just like they see in porn movies, but Ushijima doesn't seem like he watches them anyway, so he probably has no expectations whatsoever. Still, you won't give him a half-assed dick sucking.

You return to the head, lapping at his slit and you hear Ushijima whimpering above you. You settle better on the floor, rest your hands on his knees, while looking up at him, hoping that he watches you swallow up his entire cock.

There's no need to use your hands to stimulate what's not going to fit in your mouth, because nothing stops a girl with **_no gag reflex_** from getting it all in.

You open your mouth and take him inside your hot and wet cavity, having your tongue flat under his cock to feel that one vein sticking out.

None of you breaks eye contact, he just admires how his cock disappears inch by inch in your apparently not so tiny mouth, until he is all down your throat, and your nose is nuzzling in his black pubic hair. Ushijima groans and throws his head backwards.

You pull away, almost getting all his cock out and then move forward to get it back in. You start bobbing your head, keeping a steady and moderate rhythm. Remember, taking things slowly.

"(N-Name), fuck—" Ushijima moans and your pussy clenches around nothing. Tears are starting to form into your eyes, but you still look up at him with half-lidded eyes, full of lust. "Ha-Hands—I don't know where to put them, _hah_ "

For some reason, you find his awkwardness to be really cute.

Without stopping your movements, you grab them and place them on your head. His eyebrows are furrowed together, lips parted while he's panting. His composed and stoic expression is gone. Ushijima looks like a complete mess. It's a sight that will be engraved in your mind for a long time and will serve as material for the lonely nights.

"Shit, it feels so good," you hum and his cock twitches because of the vibrations around it.

He can't take it anymore, the urge is too much to bear. He finally understands what it means feeling like an animal with only needs to be satisfied.

He stops you by holding your head in place and you let out a confused sound. He jerks his hips forward, getting his cock in and out of your mouth however he pleases. He groans, but it comes out more like a growl.

 ** _He is straight up using you like a fuck toy_**.

You assume that your underwear is or will be drenched after he will be done with you. Tears start to stream down your face as he keeps face-fucking you harder than at the beginning. The droll from your mouth is dripping on the floor, but you don't care about the mess you're making.

He moans and groans, sounds that you would have never expect to come out from the quiet man above you.

If this is how your mouth feels, Ushijima can't wait to fill up your other hole.

You can tell that he's about to come as his breathing is more ragged than before and his thrusts are sloppier. He's holding tight on your head and you grip on his knees to maintain your balance.

"(Name), I will cum—" Ushijima wants to pull you away, but you resist, informing him indirectly that he can finish in your mouth.

His eyes go to the back of his head as he cums, thrusting his hips a few more times until he milks himself completely with your hot and wet hole.

He lets go of you and falls back into the couch. He's breathing heavily, chest rising and falling. His forehead is glistering with sweat. You pull out and he hisses at the overstimulation. He looks at you through half-lidded eyes as you swallow his load and lick your lips.

"How was it?" You are grinning widely at him. Nobody else has seen him like this. You are the one responsible for it and you are so goddamn proud of yourself for reducing the strong and intimidating Ushijima Wakatoshi to a panting mess.

He doesn't get to answer as his phone starts ringing on the table. He pulls up his underwear and sweatpants and grabs it from there to answer.

"Yes, Tendou?" He tries to sound as composed as possible. In the meanwhile, you wipe your mouth with your arm, and rest your head on his thigh.

"Hello~! I'm coming home soon, I just wanted to let you guys know so you can finish your business until I'm back"

"We have finished already," you open wide your eyes at Ushijima's words.

"Ohh, really? Then I can't wait to hear how it went when I return! See you soon, bye-bye!" Tendou hangs up and Ushijima places his phone on the couch.

"Is something the matter?"

"Why did you tell him?!" You are still on the floor.

"Is it not normal to share with your friend when something like this happens? This is how it happens in movies"

"No—I mean, yes, but still!"

"Don't worry, I will tell him that we only did it. I'm keeping the details to myself," he bends down to place a kiss on your forehead. He then picks you up from the floor.

"Was I too rough with you? Sorry, I could not help myself," Ushijima is caressing your face, rubbing it with the pad of his thumb.

"No, it was really hot actually. You can go harder next time if you want"

"Really?" He chuckles darkly and you feel shivers all over your body. "Then I will make sure that you will not be able to talk the next time you suck my cock"

He grins at you and gives you a peck on the lips.

"Come on, we have to air the room and wipe the floor before Tendou gets back"

He leaves for the bathroom to get some toilet paper, while you remain in the same spot, realizing that Ushijima dirty-talked to you, and dear God, he did a good job actually.


	19. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

Ushijima never had a sex drive this big. Sure, he masturbates from time to time when he gets random boners and also has the energy to do it, but that's pretty much it. He found no reason to do more than that, especially since no girl in particular made him feel like—like _this_.

What you did to him last week was enough to spin his entire world around and he found himself craving for that feeling of release more than for anything else in this world. No matter how many times he touched himself—yes, _times_ , **plural** —no orgasm compared to the one you gave him. His hand cannot compare to how your soft and wet mouth felt around his cock.

_Nothing could've prepared him for what followed._

You didn't do anything _to him_ in particular, but it was enough to make him go **_feral_** , explaining why he's now with his face deep buried in your dripping cunt, devouring you, while you moan and squirm above him.

It all started out as a _need_. Ushijima _needed_ to see you. The collegiate volleyball league is approaching and every day is spent at practice. He eats his lunches with Oikawa, while you eat with your team. You promised him that in the winter break you would spend more time together, but until then, it can't be helped.

He knows that you are working harder than anyone else, maybe even than him, since your name and reputation are on the line. You promised to take care of yourself, to sleep and to eat properly this time, so he's not worried about that.

_He just misses you._

He is proud of you, proud to call you his girlfriend, even if it sounds too basic to him. You deserve a higher title than this one. And he's planning on changing it quite soon.

So, that's why he's not forcing you to talk to him more or blaming you for not answering his texts or calls. He understands. Ushijima knows that you are overwhelmed and the last thing he wants is to see you breaking down again.

But it still doesn't change that fact that he wants to hold you in his arms or to kiss you on your shoulders, neck, or all over your face. He's needy like that sometimes.

He knows that he's lucky, not only related to the sport he plays, but also because he found his significant other. You are alike, but also so different from each other.

Tendou said that you two must be soulmates, but Ushijima thinks of that term to be something more related to fiction or fairy tales. But maybe... _maybe..._

Not knowing how to approach the situation, he sought advice from his one and only best friend: Tendou. Or as the red-haired likes to call himself: the best wingman.

Tendou simply told him to pay you a surprise visit one day after you finish practice before him. He said that you would most likely be happy to see your boyfriend showing up to shower you in affection because dating Ushijima is like dating a giant teddy bear: always having a warm body to cuddle with and with the cold season approaching, it's perfect.

And he followed through with that plan. You texted him one day that you had just got home and were planning on taking a bath and ordering takeout since you were too tired to actually cook something.

Ushijima received the message as he was changing after practice and decided: that day was the day. He wanted to text you not to order takeout because he would prepare something for you but that would spoil his surprise. Well, to be honest, he wasn't in the mood for cooking either.

He made his way towards your apartment much faster than he planned. He also finally understood what it means to be deprived from physical affection—and to be sexually frustrated as well. He wasn't planning to do any of the sorts, just wanted to be with you.

Climbing the stairs to your apartment made his heart beating faster than before. He took the spare key you gave him and unlocked the front door. _This was also Tendou's idea._

Opening the door gently, he stepped inside, but didn't fully enter your home, feeling that something's strange. It was too quiet. Were you sleeping already? Maybe he should've told you that he was coming, he didn't want to wake you up—

"F-Fuck—!" Came your voice from your bedroom, followed by a loud moans and sloppy wet sounds.

Was this?—No... He trusts you, knows that you would never cheat on him, but what—

"Wakatoshi— _ah_! There, _oh_ , right there! It feels so good! Feels so good! Fuck! Toshii!"

Ushijima couldn't move, he just stood there, poker faced, and listened. He felt like he wasn't supposed to be there, like the whole situation was too personal, even though he was your boyfriend.

_You were masturbating, thinking of him and moaning his name._

He might be an idiot when it comes to academic subjects, but dating you opened his horizons to a lot of things. So, he was fully aware of what you were doing there.

"I'm gonna cum, gonna cum so hard! Hah!" Before you can finish—yourself or him—he stepped out of your apartment as silently as he entered and left the building, hoping to encounter none of your neighbors.

His mind was blank the whole time and it wasn't until he passed by the park where he found you that time and sat down on a bench that he finally realized what he witnessed. He covered his bright and burning face with his palms and almost screamed out of frustration. Almost.

He just wanted to see you and spend some time with you, not get a raging boner in a public park. He stood there until he calmed down and then went home. Luckily, Tendou was still out so he used this opportunity to take a cold shower and to do his 'business'.

But as he was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, he still was thinking of it and his cock was up again. So, he went to take another cold shower. _Only if that helped though._

Seeing you the next day in class was the worst, because not only he had in mind your pretty mouth full of his cock while tears were rolling down your face, but also his name being moaned by that same dirty mouth.

If Ushijima didn't know if he was sexually frustrated before, he was sure he was now. The rest of the week was pure agony for him.

And out of nowhere, on Saturday, you texted him if he wanted to come over after practice since you made too much food for yourself and wanted to eat with him. He knew that it was an excuse to see him, because you never wanted to admit being needy, but he accepted none the less, smiling at the phone while giving you the answer you wanted to hear.

He tried to keep his mind clear while walking to your place. He was no hormonal teenager, but he sure felt like one.

Ushijima knocked on your door and took a big breath of air. _'It's going to be alright'_. He heard you moving around the apartment and then stopping in front of him.

The door opened and revealed you, dressed in one of his old T-shirts from Shiratorizawa that you borrowed some time ago. It was so long and large on you that it looked like you were wearing only that.

**_Ushijima finally snapped._ **

And that brings us to the current time, more or less.

He slams the door behind him, not giving a single fuck about breaking it, removes his shoes way faster than a normal human can and then grabs you and slams you against the wall. Before you can say something or even push him away, he pins your wrists above your head and his mouth crushes with yours. It's rough and sloppy and you feel overwhelmed, but are also enjoying his dominance.

Ushijima frees one of his hands which goes under your—well, his—T-Shirt and he starts massaging your breast with his wide palm.

"Wa-Waka-mmhh! Wa-Wait!" You try to break free, but that only results in him gripping you tighter. He presses kisses all over your neck, making your knees feel like jelly.

"No, I'm done with the waiting. I want you _**now**_ ," he growls in the crook of your neck. You yelp as he removes your shorts together with your underwear in one rough move, throwing them across the room. You are both scared and excited about what is going to happen.

He gives you another kiss before dropping down on his knees. And then he looks up at you, no longer fired up, but mostly scared and uncertain.

"Do you want me to do this? I want to mention that once I start, I am not going to stop," even if he wants to devour you in an instant, he won't do so without your permission.

"Yes... p-please," he grins at you, placing both hands on your thighs to spread you wide open for him.

" **Good** "

You want to close your legs out of embarrassment, but he doesn't loosen his grip. Your glistering sex is right in front of him, _bare_ , smelling in a way that makes his cock twitch in his pants.

"You are so wet already, just from a kiss," you mewl at his words. His stare gives you shivers everywhere.

Even though he has never been physical with a girl, you've taught him a few things. He had questions and you offered answers. And you've come to realize that Ushijima is not only a fast learner, but also tends to master things he's interested in.

He puts your legs over his shoulders and before you can even comprehend what he's about to do, you are lifted off the ground. This is— _holy fuck_.

He doesn't wait— **can't actually wait anymore,** and dives straight in.

"Thank you for the food," always a well-mannered man.

The first swipe of his tongue on your pussy feels hot. Ushijima's fingers are digging so hard into your flesh, you're sure you're going to have bruises that you will have to hide somehow, but that's the last thing you care about now. You can only think about how good it feels to have his wet muscle lapping on your cunt after so many months of having to pleasure yourself.

You don't remember ever teaching him **anything** about oral sex, so from where did he learn all of this?!

Ushijima is a certified virgin, he knows it, you know it. But that doesn't mean that it will stop him from giving you the same pleasure that you gave him, even more than that. So, he did his research, read a lot of articles about how to give the best oral sex to a woman and now... _it's time to practice what he learnt._

His eyes were closed this whole time, but now he opened them to analyze your facial expression. His olive orbs are half lidded, full with lust and passion. No matter how many times you've imagined it, nothing came as close as the real deal, having Ushijima Wakatoshi between your legs, eating you out like you're his last meal.

He sees how red your face is, your mouth agape to let out choked moans and small breaths. He knows that he has neglected your clit so he gives it a hard lick and you whimper as he sucks hard on it.

"Wakatoshi—Oh, fuuck! Ah!"

You want to cum, you can tell that you're almost there, but your core begs to be filled with something.

"F-Fuck, Wakatoshi! Inside! Please, finger me as well, please! I want you inside, I want to cum!" Ushijima gently brings you down, kneeling again and plunges two deliciously thick fingers inside your dripping cunt.

"A-Angle them upwards and keep hitting that spot. Y-You can curl your fingers if you want," he does exactly as you instructed him, thrusting in the spot that makes you see stars. "Oh, fuck, yes! There! Ah! There! There!" He keeps moving his fingers in and out.

"C-Clit, p-please—" you don't have to tell him twice as his mouth returns to sucking on the sensitive bud.

His fingers curl inside and rub on your g-spot, finally bringing you to your climax.

"I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! Ah! Cuming!" Your hands instinctively go for his hair, gripping it and pushing him further into your sex.

You cum, clenching your walls around his fingers, but still keeping eye contact with him through almost shut eyelids. He carries you through your orgasm, still trying to thrust his fingers despite the tightness of your cunt around them.

You almost go limp, your knees weak from the powerful orgasm. You take large breaths of air, trying to come back from your high as Ushijima pulls out his fingers and licks your juices from them. _There's a lot._

You taste as good as he imagined. And he's pretty sure that he just got addicted to it.

His chin is glistering with a mixture of his spit and your juices. He wipes it away with his hand, all this time looking at how wrecked you are.

Ushijima doesn't give you much time to rest though, as he's picking you up again, this time throwing you over his shoulder.

"W-Wait a second! What are you doing?!"

"I am going to finish what I have started. I do not think I can restrain myself anymore from fucking you," his answer sends a wave of pleasure and arousal down to your cunt.

**_Ushijima Wakatoshi is going to fuck your brains out, like it or not. But we all know that this is what you want._ **


	20. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 3rd and final chapter of the smut ones.

You were expecting this moment to happen eventually in your relationship, but not so soon, and especially, not after Ushijima had eaten you out against the wall like you were his last meal on Earth.

He drops you on the bed, immediately getting on top of you to catch your lips with his, while his hands dive under his own T-shirt that you are wearing to play with your breasts. He palms, rubs and squeezes them gently, satisfying his curiosity. They feel soft and squishy and he can find himself fondling with your chest all day.

Your nipples are starting to get hard under his touch, so he lifts up your T-shirt, making you gasp in the kiss and then moan as he pinches and twists them both between his fingers.

He breaks the kiss and puts his mouth on one of your breasts, sucking on the hard nub, while still playing with the other. Ushijima rolls his tongue over it a few times and bites it gently. Thinking that he gave enough attention to this one, he moves to the other and gives it the same treatment.

His eyes open and he looks at you, a mixture of love and passion but also lust and need.

You're wondering when did he learn to do this, as over two weeks ago he had no idea where to even put his hands while you were blowing him.

Hands that now travel all over your body, rough and calloused from years of intense training. He wants to explore all of your body, to know what parts make you feel good. He pries open your legs, while placing soft kisses all over your body, going down on you to reach that sweet spot again. He wants to devour you **again**.

"To-Toshi, wa-wait," and he stops instantly, bolting up to check on you.

"Did I do something that you did not like?" You chuckle at his cuteness and care and dismiss his worries by waving your hand.

"No, no. It felt good. It's just... I want to touch you too..." His eyes open wide for a second before he grabs you by the hand and places it on his ranging erection.

"I am afraid that if you were to do that, I would finish instantly," you squeeze his cock, feeling how hard and throbbing it is through the material of his pants. He winces and grunts lowly.

"Well, then... let's-let's get started," you reach for your nightstand and pull out a condom and a bottle of lube, placing the second item on the bed and handing the wrapper to your boyfriend. He looks at the object in your shaking hand, confused.

"I have no idea how to use it," you burst out laughing, finally snapping out of the tension that was between the two of you. You shouldn't worry about it that much; everything is going to be alright. Ushijima is not a random guy you have to impress, he is your boyfriend and therefore, he's here to stay even after some crappy sex.

"Yeah, you're right. I assumed that you might not know," you prop yourself on your elbow, reaching for his face and kissing him on the cheek. "Come on, lay down. Let me lead this time, okay?" He nods and you move around, switching positions. He's resting with his back on your pillow and you sit on his lap, straddling him. He jumps when he feels your hot core pressing on his clothed erection and you smile at him.

"(Name)," he calls you and you hum at him. "I love you," you're blankly starting at him. "I do not care about how many partners you have had before me. I am not like them. I do not want you only for carnal pleasure," **_Busted._**

"Am I that easy to read?" He answers affirmatively. You sigh. "Sorry. Yeah, _fuck_ , I'm really nervous and I don't know why, to be honest. It's just... I wasn't really prepared for it to happen today"

"Do you want to stop then?"

"Fuck no! We might not have a chance like this anytime soon so... I want to take advantage of it. I want you. I really do," his whole face is now flustered. "Oi, why are you bashful _now_?! A few minutes ago, you were eating me out like a hungry animal!"

"Sorry. I could not help myself. You look good dressed in that"

"Oh, do I? Then, you want me to keep it on?" You say in a teasing tone.

"Can you?" You laugh at his eagerness.

"Of course. Let's hope that we don't get it stained though. But...yours has to go," you grab the hem of his T-shirt and remove it, throwing it somewhere on the floor. "All of these have to go"

Thank God he decided to wear sweatpants today as you easily slide them off to reveal the outline of his thick cock through his underwear. There's already a wet stain on them. You swallow dryly at the sight, fully aware about how painful yet delicious the stretch will be. You hook your fingers in the elastic of his boxers and remove them, finally letting his cock to be free.

You lean in, licking a stride from the base of his cock all the way to the tip. You place a soft kiss on it, hearing Ushijima's breath hitch. You grab the condom and rip open the package with your teeth, while he watches you, completely transfixed by your movements.

"Look, you're supposed to roll this down your—uhh yeah... I mean, the box has instructions and I can give it to you to read them if you want to do this yourself—"

"(Name), calm down, please," you take a big breath.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. Somehow, I feel like I'm the virgin here. You seem confident about letting me lead and I'm not really used to it," he chuckles softly at your rambling, getting up to place a kiss on your forehead.

"That is because I trust you. You never fail to amaze me," you smile at him and push Ushijima back down with your free hand. Then you proceed to put on the damn rubber, holding the tip of it with one of your hands while the other rolls it down. Somehow you got the size right.

' _Good job, (Name)'_

"This thing here," you grab the forgotten bottle, "it's lube. It's supposed to make it more slippery so you won't hurt yourself. Well, I'm already wet from when you ate me out, but you're... bigger than the others guy I've been with"

"I do not want to hurt you"

"I know that, Wakatoshi," you return to your place on his lap, your pussy sitting on his cock. You hump his cock, spreading the lube on your folds and even letting it slip in a bit for the tease. You moan a bit when his cock touches and puts pressure on your clit. It makes him twitch even more under you. You need more foreplay, but it's too late for that.

You can tell that he's excited and can't wait anymore so you finally slide it in. You whine after his tip is fully in and then take him slowly inch by inch until he bottoms out.

"F-Fuck, you're so _big,_ " you are stuffed full of his cock. The pain starts to fade away, letting you enjoy to sweet feeling of his member, hard and hot, deep in you. "I'm going to move now," you announce and lift your body and then go down again, starting to jump on his cock.

Your hands are resting on his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat. His lower lip is between his teeth, trying to stop himself from making too much noise.

It feels amazing, way better than your mouth. His cock feels so good being dragged along your warm walls. It's all hot and sloppy and it drives him insane. **_Next time he's in charge._**

"(N-Name), _shit,_ " he moans and that makes you move faster. The visual, your greedy pussy swallowing up his cock until there's nothing left... if you think that you'll have someone else besides him there, you are dead wrong.

Ushijima removes your T-shirt and takes both of your hands in his, interlocking your fingers and holding them in the air while you continue to jump up and down on his cock. It hits spots deeper in you, spots that are so quick in making you cum.

Even though he likes how you look in his clothes, your body is too beautiful to be kept hidden. Plus, right now he's watching your breasts bouncing up and down with the movement of your body. It awakens in him an urge to thrust in you, and he cannot stop himself. He lifts his knees and plants his heels in the mattress to support the two of you.

"Toshi~ mhh, I love you-I love you so much- _ah!_ " He thrusts his hips upwards just as you go down, meeting in the middle. "Oh, keep doing that, please, it feels so good!"

His grip gets tighter and he keeps bucking his hips, setting the same pace as you. You let out loud breathy moans, whines and whimpers, dripping everywhere. Your face is red and your lips are swollen from biting on them so you won't alert your neighbors. He watches you struggle to maintain your posture as you get closer and closer to orgasming.

"I'm gonna cum! Fuck, fu— I'm gonna cum- _oh!_ " You let the wave of your climax to wash over you and the tension in your core snaps. He fucks you through your orgasm, your walls clenching around him like a vice. Ushijima curses under his breath, but doesn't cum with you. Instead, he sees you cream yourself on his cock, your movements stopping as your orgasm ends as well.

Your hands go limp in his, but he's still holding onto you. Your head is thrown back as you gasp for air, chest rising and falling rapidly to get oxygen in your lungs. He observes your sweat gliding down your body, the curve of your breasts, how you two look connected, details that he has missed before.

**_But there's something else that he can't quite understand._ **

As you come down from your high, you bring your head forward, meeting his olive eyes. You're pretty sure that you never had such a powerful orgasm before while having sex with someone. The added inches helped. And also, the fact that he's not a random hookup, but your actual boyfriend.

"Sorry I came without you—oh, shit..." you look down, noticing that there's wetness all over his abdomen and also on the sheets. "Well, this has never happened before," he frowns, confused.

"It's a good thing!" You reassure him. "I... I squirted. That happens when, uhh..." Explaining what squirting is while his cock is still fully erect inside you and your pussy is spasming around him is a scenario you never imagined yourself experiencing, but oh well. He's still waiting for you to enlighten him.

"It felt so good that I came from both my pussy and my urethra at the same time—" You don't get to finish your explanation as he grabs you by your shoulders, pushing you down on the bed. He spreads open your legs, inserting all of his cock back into your dripping hole.

"You do know how to make me crave you even more, _sweet little thing_ ," he speaks in a low voice, grinning at your surprised—and scared—expression. You smack him playfully in the chest.

"Where the hell did you learn to talk dirty, you virgin?!"

"I have internet access, (Name). It is quite fascinating how many things you can learn online"

"What are you, an old man?!" He doesn't take your words that well, frowning in confusion.

"You are older than me, what do you mean? And yet... you are so small and cute under me," he says with a tone barely above a whisper, his eyes lovingly scanning your body. "You are beautiful, (Name)," you blush heavily at his compliments.

Has anyone else before made you feel so loved during sex? Your first time was... well, awkward and _terrible._ And the hookups in the first year were nothing else but what they were supposed to be: two people needing to release some sexual tension and helping each other out.

"Can I move? I promise to be gentle with you," you nod, wrapping your legs around his muscular lower back to push him further inside. He leans in to kiss you, propping himself in his hands on each side of your body, at the same time starting to roll his hips. His thrusts are slow, but deep, making you gasp every time he hits your sweet spot. He's looming over you, watching your face twist in pleasure and your chest rising and falling as you try to get oxygen into your lungs.

"Does it feel good?" He asks and you nod again, eagerly, whimpering as he keeps his rhythm. "You are so hot inside; I am completely melting"

His stoic face is replaced by a lustful one, a small grin tugging at his lips as he keeps slowly, but precisely fucking your tight hole and it seems that his grin keeps getting bigger every time you let out a breathy moan. It's driving you insane, but at the same time you know that with his stamina as an athlete, this is just the beginning.

You take a look at how his cocks is pulled out of your pussy, just for him to shove it back in and _holy fuck—_

"(Name)?" He stops the movement of his hips as he notices you covering your face with your arms. He gently pushes them aside, you look at him for a split second and then try to cover yourself again, as you are completely flustered, but your arms are held down by him. "Did something happen?" You are avoiding to look him in the eyes, biting hard on your lower lip. You know that your eyes will just travel down to where the two of you are connect and where—

"No, it's just—I didn't notice it while I was on top of you, b-but you are so deep in me t-that there's a bulge in my stomach," he looks down and notices it too. He does an experimental thrust and sees it disappear and reappear as his cock fills you back. You let out a shaky breath.

"Does it hurt?" You shake your head and close your eyes shut.

"N-No... It really turns me on," your pussy clenches around his cock and he hisses. You can tell that he's about to lose all of his composure. He does things meticulously, always checking up to see if you are enjoying yourself, while in reality you just want him to _fucking break you_. Your hand leaves his grasp and starts rubbing the bulge in your stomach.

"Please... Please Wakatoshi..."

"(Name), I am not a weak man, but I will not be able to hold myself back when the woman I love is—"

"Then don't. Please, break me—" He pins your hands down, next to your head, giving you a serious look.

"Are you sure that this is what you want?"

"Yes, I am sure. I want you, Ushijima Wakatoshi, to fuck me until I can't walk—" Ushijima smirks, hums and pulls away, hooking his hands under your knees and throwing your legs over his shoulders so he can get even deeper in you.

"Do not regret this, baby girl," He starts thrusting in you fast and hard, completely overwhelming you. You no longer care about how loud you are screaming or about the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing through the apartment. You'll apologize to your neighbors later, right now you only care about how good it feels to be fucked like you wanted to from the very beginning.

The wet sounds of your pussy are what's making him feral. You are all spread open for him, letting him do whatever he wants with you. Your knees are pressed against your chest and you feel like you cannot breathe, but there's no way that you are stopping him. Ushijima's head rests next to yours and you hear him growl. As he starts speaking in your ear, you almost cum.

"You are such a whore, you know that? Touching yourself while thinking of me and moaning my name like you were a bitch in heat... You have no idea—what you do to me, little girl," he's gripping your thighs again, leaving another set of bruises.

You want to ask how he knows about this, but you can't form words in your current situation. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, your nails digging in his flesh to support yourself. You can smell his scent, the same combination of his deodorant and cologne, and it's making your pussy throb against his cock.

"I will make sure that your pussy has the shape of my cock after I am done with you. You belong to me and to me only," you just nod, shutting your eyes to let the tears roll down your face.

Is he the same virgin boy that had no idea how to do things in the beginning? Probably not; and you are sure that Tendou has something to do with this, but this is something that the two of you will discuss after he's done rearranging your insides however he pleases.

You are just lying there and taking it, while moaning his name and dragging your nails across his back. _Like a good girl._

"Fuck, I am going to cum...! Can I do it inside?" And you're more than willing to accept.

"Shit, shit, please—" You cum before him without any warning, clenching around his member. He grunts and comes as well, filling up the condom. His rhythm slows down as he keeps emptying himself inside of you. You can feel his hot cum through the latex.

He doesn't fall on you, but gets up, pulling out of your cunt to give you room to breathe and come down of your high.

"Tie it... at the end... and throw it in the trash," you speak between breaths of air. After he's done discharging the used condom, he turns to the bed to find you with your legs spread open again, your pussy on display for him. Your juices, together with the lube, are dripping out of your pussy and down on your sheets, staining them even more.

"Can we do it one more time, please?" It's not like his erection went away anyway, he's still painfully hard and aching for more, but didn't know if you wanted it as well. He licks his lips seductively at your wrecked appearance: wet face from tears, swollen lips, disheveled hair, legs trembling, pussy quivering and makes his way back to the bed, settling himself between your legs.

"If this is what you want, then who am I to say no to you, my sweet little thing?"

After fucking you in as many positions as he wanted, he carried you to the bathroom in his arms and helped you wash. Then, you ate the food that you had prepared and again, he had to help you around the kitchen as you couldn't stand on your legs—just as he promised.

Now you are lying in bed, your head resting on his arm, snuggled into his chest. You're back in his T-shirt and underwear and he's only wearing his boxers, the duvet covering you two.

"When I wake up, you would still be here, right?" He wraps you in his arms, holding you closer to him.

"Yes, (Name). I am not leaving anywhere," you smile. "I love you," he places a kiss on your forehead.

"I love you too," you struggle to get out of his grasp, finally addressing the question. "Now, how about you tell me how you know what I do in my private time?" ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the final one!


	21. 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞-𝖔𝖓𝖊

Holding your jersey in your hand, you look at the number printed on it: four. The number that's usually given to the ace. You wore it when you fainted and they gave it to you again. Even though you haven't been in an official match for more than a year, they still consider you one of their most valuable players.

 _Will you be okay?_ The match today is a 2-3 sets one, so you won't get exhausted that much if you can win both sets consecutively, but you're pretty sure that this isn't going to happen. After all, the team that you are against today has the player that took your place in the top three so they're most likely to win a set for themselves.

"Oi, stop daydreaming and get dressed already! And stop making that depressed face, we are not at a funeral!" Comes Daitan's scolding tone from across the locker room.

"But—"

"No 'but' with me. If the coach decided to pick you as a starting player, it means that he trusts you to do your job. If you get tired, we'll sub you out, but you are not allowed to quit before trying. Where's your pride as a player? Didn't Ushijima Wakatoshi-kun teach you anything?"

"Stop comparing me with him every time I do something, jeez!" Daitan laughs at your flustered face. You finally pull the jersey over your head, shoving the end of it into your shorts.

"So, is it true that you are going out? I've heard people talk about this, but I rarely see you together," asks the vice-captain of your team, wiggling her eyebrows. You give a small nod, covering your face with your towel. The team starts cheering loudly, someone's whistling in the back and some of your senpais come to pat you on the back and to congratulate you. The chaos stops when you hear a knock on the door, followed by your coach's voice, telling you that if you are done getting dressed, you should step outside.

You take a big breath of air, shoving your tracksuit back into your bag, noticing your arm sleeve at the bottom of it. You've no longer needed it as of lately, your left arm getting accustomed with being used for spiking and serving. You've grown a lot in the past months, but you know that it's a long way back to the top, as you get tired faster than before.

But what's probably making you feel so agitated is Ushijima coming to see your match, your first official match.

Back to the stands, Ushijima, Oikawa, Tendou, Bokuto and Kuroo are taking their seats close to the front row. As they begin to talk about your opponent, a bleached-head passes by them to take a look at the court.

"She's not here yet," he mumbles to himself, but the group hears him.

"Yo, Ukai-san!" Kuroo calls for him and the man turns around to find Nekoma's team captain together with the other 3 captains and Shiratorizawa's "Guess Monster".

"What are you all doing here? Don't you have classes or something?"

"Don't you have a team to train? And for your knowledge, we are free today. Why are you here, all the way from Miyagi?" Kuroo grins at him and the older man takes a sit next to them.

"It's my sister's first official match, there's no way I'm missing it. The last one I had to see through a TV screen..."

"Stop thinking about that, Ukai-san! Our (Name) is going to kick their asses today!" Bokuto intervenes, proudly praising you.

"I hope so... Ah, I haven't introduced myself! I'm (Name)'s older brother, Ukai Keishin, though I think that you know me already. I'm Karasuno's coach. I assume that all of you are friends with my sister?"

"I'm not her friend, I'm her boyf—" Tendou slaps his hand on Ushijima's mouth together with Oikawa to stop the volleyball idiot from saying something he shouldn't.

"He means that he's her best friend! They've been practically inseparable since they've met!" Oikawa lies. _But is it a lie though?_

"It's okay, you don't need to hide things from me anymore, (Name) told me everything," they stare at Keishin with wide eyes.

"What exactly did she tell you?" Asks Tendou, before he moves his hand from over his friend's mouth.

"About quitting volleyball, wanting to drop out of college, the top three, about that weird guy that apparently was her boyfriend... This woman is something else sometimes. She's so stubborn and never relies on others for help. Jeez, who does she take after?" Keishin is running his hand furiously through his bleached hair.

"You seem... okay with the whole situation?" Kuroo says uncertainly.

"I was mad at the beginning, of course! I wanted to come to Tokyo just to yell at her for being such a big idiot. But she's an adult now, she has to face the consequences of her actions. And I'm pretty sure that she's aware of her mistakes more than anybody else..." nobody says anything for a while, they just sit there in silence and remember, each of them, the worse states they've seen you through.

"There's something else that she has told me about you, Ushijima-kun. She mentioned that you kept pressuring her to return back to volleyball and in the end, having your support really helped her. So, I want to thank you personally for what you did for my sister," they're eyes are locked, but before Ushijima can say anything in return, your team finally enters the court.

You don't have a particular expression on your face, only when you are face to face with the other team's ace, since you are both wearing the same number, you frown like never before.

"It's her," Tendou observes. "Do you think that (Name)-chan will be okay?"

"Well, she has to. If not, this will be her first and last official match this year," Kuroo answers.

You don't miss the grin that she flashes you; it makes your blood boil. Luckily, Daitan calms you down before you can get to murder her and soon the game starts.

You've trained all these months, probably harder than anyone else on your team since you had so much to recover from skipping practice for almost a year. If they think that you are going down without a fight, they are dead wrong. At first, they are taken aback by your left-handed spiking and lack of reckless moves, as that's how everyone knew you. You call for the toss or wait for the setter to send the ball your way.

All of your serves are not touched. Even if their libero tries to stop it, it hits her forearms and flies out of the court. The first sets is taken by your team, even though the other was not far behind in points. As you get your stuff to switch parts, you feel dizzy and almost drop down on the floor, if it wasn't for you grabbing the pole of the net and for another teammate catching you. They walk you to the bench and put you down, handing you your bottle of water.

"This is bad," starts Oikawa. "She scored almost half of the points by herself, but that's putting a lot of pressure on her. She still can't keep up with everything. A real match is totally different from a practice one. No matter how hard you try to make them feel as real as possible, the amount of stress will never be the same"

"What are you going to do, (Name)?" Keishin asks himself, but is the question that everyone has been thinking about. What are you going to do now, that the world is spinning around you and the words coming out of everyone's mouths sound like gibberish?

You are benched, not allowed to step back until you feel better. The seconds set is taken by your rivals. You can appreciate the ace of the team, but there's a clear difference between you two. And that is passion and dedication. Things that for her are lacking.

"If they don't bring her back in, the other team might win. This will surely affect her pride and will prove the point that she doesn't deserve to be in the top three—"

"I think that she's already aware of that," comes a new voice. When the group looks behind them, they find the old man that started your passion for this sport. "You've always treated her like she was a child"

"Grandpa?! What are you doing here?"

"I've come to see my one and only granddaughter. The last time I was at one of her matches, she was in middle school"

"Your granddaughter still seems like a reckless idiot. For the love of God, I offered her a scholarship to Shiratorizawa, but she chose Karasuno instead!" Behind Ukai is another old man.

"Washijou-sensei?!" Tendou asks alarmed, while Ushijima just nods politely.

"This is an awkward reunion," Kuroo whispers to Bokuto.

"Do you think that she's going to be okay?" Keishin is slowly, but certainly starting to lose hope in this match.

"The last time someone provoked her, she hit him so hard in the mouth that a tooth fell out. I think that she will be just fine"

"This is not the same situation, old man!"

"She will be okay," Ushijima speaks up. "(Name) is not the type to give up that easily. She returned to prove something to the world who considered her already a lost cause," they all stare at him, until the referee blows the whistle to announce the member change.

While on the bench, you had enough time to analyze the situation. Your friends, brother and boyfriend are behind you, watching the match as it goes on. But the world moves slowly for you. It's probably not the last time you are going to be benched because you are tired. But you need to fight through all of this.

The feeling of emptiness you had while thinking of volleyball is long gone. You've met your friends, your boyfriend, important people in your life only because you decided one day to ask your grandfather to teach you how to play.

Volleyball is fun again, it's a thing that you've started to enjoy a second time. You don't need this victory so you can prove anything to yoursself. You already know you're worth. The people that are close to you know your worth. But the whole world still sees you as a reckless girl, a clumsy player, that one ace that ran away.

The moment you step back on the court is a decisive moment. As you get ready to serve, nothing else around you matters. It's just you and your muscles, the swing of your left hand and the powerful contact with the ball. You are not alone on the court, but when you serve, it's just you and your mind.

You score point after point with the help of your teammates and finally, you are at match point. You receive the ball before it goes outside the lines, diving on the floor for it. You know that the last point won't be yours, but you still get up and ran following the ball, like your life depends on it.

"One more time!" Your setter yells after the other spiker hits the block on purpose. She looks at you, putting her last hope in her ace. "Ukai-san!"

You jump as high as your legs can take you, following the slow movement of the ball with your eyes. Being above the block, for the other players in front of you it looks like you have a huge shadow over them, like you are spreading your wings.

**Your lead wings finally break free from under the weight they've been carrying all this time.**

The last ball hits the ground hard before anyone else can receive it. As you reach the floor again, you almost drop, but Daitan catches you just in time.

"Good job, ace," she tells you and soon the team come to you for a group hug. After the small celebration, you line up and thank for the match. Approaching the other team to shake their hands, you see the angry look on the other ace's face.

The others leave the court immediately, leaving only the two of you to have a small staring contest. There's no word needed to be said. She lets go of your hand and makes her way back to her team, but stops as you begin speaking.

"I will take my place back in the top three. I will prove to everyone that I deserve to be there for my abilities, not for my name. So, watch your back," she gives you a dirty look before joining the others.

You let Daitan carry you out since you could barely move anymore. As you exit the court, you find your friends waiting for you in the hall, waving for you. They all have huge smiles on their faces, even Ushijima.

You drop your bag on the ground and ran to jump in his arms. He catches you without a problem, like you weight nothing to him. You grab him by the head and place a hard kiss on his lips.

"Did you see that? I spiked above the block!"

"I saw. You were amazing, (Name)," he gives you a warm smile and puts you down. You immediately run to high five the other four guys, completely unaware that your family and Shiratorizawa's coach were right there the whole time. Oh, and your teammates too.

"Wait, wait, wait! You are dating _him_?!" You hear your brother's annoying voice. You finally realize who's he with.

"Oops! I have to go and change, bye!" You dash past him, grabbing your bag as well.

"(Name), come here, you little shit!" He yells after you, but of course that you don't return. The other college students start laughing, while Ushijima stays there, dumbfounded.

"Oi, why didn't you idiots tell me?!" Keishin addresses them, but they don't answer, just keep laughing.

"I tried to, but they stopped me," Ushijima bends down in front of your brother. "I promise to cherish (Name) greatly and to make her happy. You will not have to worry about it," Keishin is really surprised by Ushijima's confession so he looks at his grandfather, but the old man laughs as well, and pats his grandson on the shoulder.

"I think that she is in good hands, Keishin"

Ushijima drops you at your place after spending the whole day together: eating out, dropping your family, as well as coach Washijou at the train station and then playing some volleyball together with the other four men.

He hands you your bag, having carrying it all day for you.

"So, my brother told me that you said some interesting things to him while I was changing"

"I meant everything I have said. You are mine, (Name), until the rest of our days," you smile at him.

"Promise?"

"I promise," you kiss him, sealing the deal this way.

**_A few years later_ **

"And here comes Ukai! He seems in a good form today! All of his spikes are perfect! Argentina's blockers can barely keep up with him!" Says the first commentator.

"I must say, it's weird calling him Ukai after all these years of knowing him as Ushijima"

"After all, he got married to Ukai (Name) from Hikari Pharmaceutical Red Rabbits and took her last name"

"Wait, are you serious?"

"Yes, she apparently proposed to him live after her team won the season. She quit afterwards due to an injury and started working as a coach"

"Impressing! See, this is what I call a **power couple** "


	22. 𝖋𝖎𝖓𝖆𝖑 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my last a/n on this work, I will rant a lot about what this work means to me; I will also mention the people that supported me and many more things. You don't have to read this, but I would appreciate if you did.

Ahh! It's finally done! "Lead Wings" is probably my first xReader story that I've successfully completed without giving up and unpublishing it half way through. I feel so accomplished with myself, to be honest, knowing that I pushed myself to write and to (try to) publish a chapter every week. 

Let's see... Where do I even begin? I've published this book on May 18th 2020, approximatively 5 months ago. According to Google, it took me 136 days to fully complete it. Of course, when my exams started, I went on hiatus for a month or so. That was the period when I missed writing as it was distracting me from all the stress. 

When I started writing this book, I wasn't fully an Ushijima 'stan' like I am now, meaning that for me he was just another character, but having recently finished season three, I got a lot of ideas for different stories with him. It all started (how many times will I use the word 'start', let's find out) from the scene in chapter two, when you join the training camp.

There are also scenes that were planned and never made it, such as a mountain hiking on Ushijima's birthday, or scenes that weren't planned at all. Initially, this story was supposed to have 15 chapters, then 20 after I've added the 3 ones of smut (shh, don't say shit about my math, I know what I've said), buuut I fucked up my planning with chapter 7 because it was longer than expected. Well, it doesn't really matter anymore. 

I've noticed that my chapters got longer and longer the more we progressed into the story. I'm sorry about that. Especially for the smut ones. Damn, Adel. Fun fact, I hate writing smut, that's why it took me so long to finish the 3rd one, but I wrote the final chapter in a day. I don't know why, I just find them hard to write, especially since I'm not a native speaker. But I still forced myself to write three of them, good job, Adel. (take a sip every time i say 'write')

Another interesting fact is that while for the other characters I use abbreviations such as "didn't" or "you're", for Ushijima, at least in the last few chapters, I've started to write them as "did not" or "you are"; I don't know why, don't ask me.

I feel like sometimes I wrote things too slowly between them, but also too fast? I know that I said that I would give you some established relationship chapters, but that never happened, sorry; of course besides the smut ones. 

In the last chapter, at the end, Ushijima takes your last name. This was just one of the headcannons I have for him and I decided to use it now than never at all. I hope that the story wasn't too cliché with them marrying each other, but I myself want to marry this man so sorry, not sorry. 

Ah, I think this is all I have to say about this work. I'm tearing up as I'm writing this, but all things have to end at one point and I think it's time for "Lead Wings" to come to an end too.

In the end, I want to thank you, my readers, for the constant support by leaving kudos or commenting on my chapters; there were days when just a single notification would drive me to write more, even though I was thinking of giving up. Thank you for 3k hits and over 100 kudos!

I want to thank Luna (@tobiosrice) and Lexi (@KannaHiko) for being my biggest supporters. I will forever be grateful for your kind words! As for the others that I haven't mentioned, I appreciate you as well!

This story needs editing so I will try to do this as soon as possible. 

And now, I must rest. I am going on hiatus for 2 weeks or more, since college started for me as well, and I need to get accustomed to everything. 

Don't worry, in the mean time I will be working on the next two stories that I will publish, "Double U" and "Nobody But You". I've decided to postpone "Heart of Glass", and frankly I don't even know if I am ever going to write it, but we shall see.

**_Good-bye! See you soon!_ **

— ** _Adeline_**


End file.
